Chapter 33: Unholy Matrimony

14 Jun

***Hey, y’all! Long time, no see, I know, I know! I’ve been super busy as you’re about to find out. I wrote this Dead Confederates shotgun wedding to celebrate the release of my debut novel, Sugar Daddy, a sizzling summer romance! It was fun—and a little disturbing considering how easy it was—to step back into Eddie’s head again. I hope you all enjoy! So, this isn’t goodbye, it’s a Hell Yeah rebel yell, and a thank you for the many years of support and amazing friendship ***

Sugar Daddy, by Rie Warren, is available now:

She needs a job. He wants a mistress. Hearts and contracts are bound to get broken.

Shay Greer is pure GRITS—a Girl Raised In The South–but nowhere near a demure southern belle. She’s looking for a way out of her broken down marriage when she lands an unexpected job offer she really should refuse. Position? Mistress. Fringe Benefits? Of course. Fraternization with sexy CEO Reardon Boone? Required.

Sugar Daddy on Amazon ** Sugar Daddy on Barnes & Noble ** Sugar Daddy on iTunes


Dead Confederates: Unholy Matrimony

Many thanks to Rose Arcadia for the image detailing, and of course to Viola Cornuta, my betatrix!

~~If God had a refrigerator, would your picture would be on it~~

I fuckin’ hoped not. The latest church sign on Whipple Road stuck in my craw. I wasn’t MIA from the local weekly prayer meeting. I was permanently AWOL, because I took my sinning very seriously. And speaking of refrigerators, it was bad enough Bella had dragged me to the Best Buy all the way up Rivers Ave to purchase a clean-air, quiet-sound fridge, with an ice shooter.

 S’if I didn’t shoot enough ice to keep her cool inside and out every friggin’ day.

 The A/C window units had conked out in the double wide, too. No big. Except it meant Bubba was here, and he seemed to have no intentions of cuttin’ bait after helping me replace them with newer models. He and Bella were teamed up at the off-kilter kitchen table over a platter of Bob’s barbeque he’d happily upchuck later since he couldn’t digest it. Asswad.

I hated seeing my girl chum up to the ugly lug almost as much as I loved her bein’ so tight with my family.

Suck it up or suck shit, I could hear Maw saying one of her time-honored, off-color southern gospels.

Heaving myself into a chair, I decided to suck it up. Trying not to pay too much attention to Bella’s pouty mouth or the titter of her laughter that made me wanna go after her that much faster. I wound my fingers through my hair, yanking on it instead of hauling her onto my lap.

Bubba spun his chair back to front and his cap front to back. “All that work today started me thinkin’, y’all, and I got this idea for a Company.”

Bella leaned forward, I rolled my shoulders back. Last time he verbally capitalized Company and Plan, we were 100K short on our investment in the wood chopping industry.

“Air conditionin’ repair. Wanna know the name?” Emmett rocked forward.

Not really.

“Breaking Wind!”

I stalked to the new, streamlined super-shiny fridge and pulled out a brew. Bella held her hand back for a can of her own. There was only one cold cannon I wanted to place in her palm, but I held myself in check, again.

The table topsy-turvied when I sat down, probably care of my hard dick.

The dogs had their Junk Removal + Pine Straw biz. Bella was working the taxidermy shit. Rosie had added a drive-thru window to Mama Brown’s . . . Suddenly everyone was an entrepreneur and I just wanted to get laid.

I’d asked Bella to marry me a month ago, the minute she came back from Volterra. After Bella’d skipped out (to save my entire family) and returned (with a battle royale) I hadn’t let up. She’d said yes, but the planning was still in the making. And I was making to get pissed off.

She crossed her legs, listening to Bubba go on about conductors and shafts. Hell, I have a shaft that needs conductin’.

Her cheeks flushed as my hand moved up her knee to her inner thigh. I loved watching her. Almost as much as doing her so hard the mattress needed to be replaced. I kissed her neck, my hand gliding higher.

“Rosie’s closin’ up soon, right?” I slanted a not-so-subtle look at Emmett. He detached his Kindle from Bella’s bogarted powercord and stuffed the reader into the bib of his overalls before he squinted at the clock. “’Bout now.”

Bella stood, opening the door and shooing him outside. “See you in the mornin’.”

And not one second sooner.

After the door banged shut, Bella sauntered to me. Hips rolling, lip licking, in charge and not afraid of me at all.

Her clothes dropped. My breath rasped in and out.

Bella had other plans, too, besides our unholy matrimony. The headstrong, hot, and horny woman knew the direct path to my heart and my cock. She swiveled on her heels and headed off down the doublewide’s hallway.

I full-throttled in front of her, nothing but a blur. By the time she got to our bedroom where my upright piano was stationed against one wall—almost shouting Great Balls of Fire—and her sandals, high heels, and dresses drizzled out of the closet in a tempting display, I had my shirt open, my jeans unbuttoned as I reclined on the bed.


Ruby-tipped tits swayed in my vision. Her pussy slick with wet heat deviled my brain. Her voice, low and honey-filled, swam about my head and my cock ached when she ordered, “Stay still for me, babe.”

Lights off, curtains open, the room filled with the moon’s silver ray’s washing over her lithe body and teardrop breasts. Breasts she cupped as she approached. I groped the bedding beneath me instead of her, shredding through the quilt, hitting the mattress, tearing it open.

She tsked, “Gonna have to buy another one, Eddie?’

I nodded in time with her juggling tits, grunting as she brought one engorged nipple to my mouth. Groaning low in my chest, I pulled the pink button between my lips, drawing hard. I wanted to mash her tits together and feast off both at the same time.

Laying her hands on my shoulders, Bella skimmed the shirt down my arms, off my hands. She dragged her fingertips along the tensed muscles of my abdomen, shifting one globed breast and tight nip for the other, letting me tongue lash her until she threw her head back, her hair shivering all over my torso.

My hips thrust up and I used the teasing licks on her tits to bring her down on top of me. Hell yeah. Soft belly, slim waist, hot tits, wet mouth finding mine. Our tongues swirled, lunged. I was about ready to throw her beneath me and feed my cock into her cunt when she crawled backward.

“I said be still.”


She ripped off my jeans and I growled at her. She snarled in return, and damn if that didn’t make me wanna tear up the whole house fucking her hard enough to make her scream so loud the entire neighborhood at Luxury Hollows would hear her.

The only bad thing about turning Bella was the novel fact she was at least as strong as me, and a total sexy vixen when she wanted to use that power. As she did now. I bit off my complaints because my girl was horny as hell and getting ready to take me on a ride the likes of which I’d never been on. I could tell from her deep brown dilated eyes, the rapid rise and fall of her tits, the way her gaze worked all over my hard body, my flexing muscles, my rigid erection like she wanted to taste everything at once.

“Yes, ma’am.” I crossed my hands behind my head.

“Open your thighs, babe.”

Spreading my legs, I watched her eyes take in my cock that speared up over my stomach, a spread of pre-come shimmering from the head and down my shaft. Her dark lashes fell, gaze lowering between my thighs, landing on my balls. She licked her lips and let out a little whimper, surveying the full round weights. If she’d touched me then I’d have shot off like a bottle rocket.

“Good boy,” she smiled.

The fuck if I’m gonna be a dog and woof, but if she keeps starin’ at me like that, rollin’ over and beggin’ for a fuck ain’t too far off the mark.

“Bella.” My timbre was injected with want, with need, with the pain of arousal.

She slid between my thighs, hitching her knees over me.


Her breath touched me first. Then her tongue. She curled it wickedly up my pulsing meat. “You like?”

Christ, yeah.

She thwapped my cock against my stomach, a strand of ejaculate hitting her lips. My cock on fire from the inside out, it leapt to her mouth. My fingers closed around the base so I could lay the firm tip against her closed lips.

“Gonna hurt me, Bella?” Venom leaked into my mouth.

Watching between my legs, she sucked my balls—one then the other—into her mouth. Dark with desire, my sacs fell from her lips. “Gonna suck you.”

Her tongue rode up my ridged length to the broad head she took into her mouth. Powerful suction ate at my flesh. I cranked forward, crying out. I curled my fists into her hair and let her play. Bella jacked me off, smiling all the goddamn while. She lapped my dick like it was a swizzle stick.

My abs jumped with every fucking lick bestowed.

I shouted when she let up on the vacuum suck and tasted her lips again. “Then I’m gonna fuck you.”

Bella dove down, pressed her tits against my testes. Her nipples teased me. She rode both berry points up and down me, her tongue in hot pursuit. The sucking went on until I was covered in sweat, the bed was a mess, and my cock gleamed from her spit.

I jerked her head back. My cock was at the entrance of her mouth and I’d never needed to shoot so bad. “You want more?”

Breaking from my hold, Bella slipped down the side of my throbbing shaft, nibbling, her tongue wrapping around me. “I need it.”

I grabbed her hair again, and lowered her open mouth onto me.

When Bella pulled off, her mouth was puffy from use. She prowled across my body.

“Get on my cock, darlin’.” I ordered in a low, controlled voice.

My hips lifted off the bed as she prowled across my body. I growled at the slick slide of her cunt over me. Labia parting, wet pussy clasping as each inch rocked inside of her. Hands on her ass, I drove Bella onto me showing no mercy whatso-fuckin’-ever.

A silvery shimmer of woman on top of me, she danced on my dick, whispering, “Fuck, Eddie!”

I dropped her down fast, my cock so engorged I cruelly fucked her. “Too hard?” My teeth dug into her neck.

A long moan escaped her mouth as she creamed around me.

I wanted the goddamn visual. I wanted her pussy, her mouth. Her T & A. I wanted to watch her take my cock. Hands beneath Bella’s thighs, I whipped her around. Her palms curled under my calves. I punched into her, demanding, “Fuck me hard.”

I grabbed her hair to pull her head toward me and spanked her ass, chuckling low and gritty when Bella tore at my mouth. “You slap me one more time–”

My fingers drilled against her clit and she shook on top of me. A flood of her come covered my cock when she clamped down. Back bowed, body tight, Bella climaxed so fucking hard she nearly ripped my dick off.

“Fuck.” I sped through her orgasm, grasping her hips and pounding through the insane pulses speeding come from my balls to my cock and out the head.

Spinning Bella around and beneath me, I kept thrusting into her. She came again, writhing under me. She hummed and smiled when I finally finished, stretching her arms over her head. The throbbing artery in her neck pound-pound-pounded.

I took a small drink from her vein, reinvigorating. Fuck Gatorade. Closing the suck-bite, I fell back to the bed, the mattress half on the floor.

Arms, legs, tits, ass. Bella rolled against me. Boobs, brains, and sass. Too much sass.

Damn. I’m a goner.

“Did I hurt you?”

Throwing a sheet around us, she cuddled close. “Never.”

I nodded to myself and held her nearer. My toes curled with hers, my mouth at her ear.

Bella was the shit. My broad. My babe. But not enough. “You bout ready to marry me yet?”

“Might-could be.” She peered up at me with an unfathomable expression. “You done sowin’ your wild oats?”

“Darlin’, I haven’t looked at another woman or wanted anyone else since the moment I saw you at Mama Brown’s with a pencil in your hair and no-nonsense on your lips.” Not to mention the short jean skirt, halter top, and come-fuck-me walk. “I love you, Bella.”

Warm and soft, she cuddled against me, sighing against my jaw before sliding her lips across mine. When her hand pressed against my heart, I could almost feel it beating . . . for her.


I’d finally gotten Bella to agree to a date, and goddamn if that didn’t make the ache in my chest finally subside, once and for all. I was still dead set on running away with her to Louisiana though, so when Maw had mentioned our nuptials taking place at Wide Awake Plantation—looking all wide-eyed and fanciful—I didn’t hesitate to shoot that shit right down.

She’d tried to steamroll over me while we sat on the glossy black joggling board outside her and Carl’s house on the bluff. “But that’s where that lovely Reese Witherspoon got married to Ryan Philippe, Eddie.”

The creek had shushed behind us, probably full of laughing alligators that kept eluding my clutches. “Yeah, and look how fuckin’ well that worked out for ’em.” I’d snorted.

Esme had wacked me upside the head with no warning. “Mind that tongue of yours before I pull it out and add it to my next batch of mincemeat pies for the Sunday bake sale at church.”

I needed my tongue intact so I could eat Bella out often, and at my leisure, so I dropped the cussing, but I still groused. “’Sides, Wide Awake, Maw? I don’t need any more reminders about bein’ eternally unable to sleep, do I?”

The hard line of her lips softened as she scrutinized me, appreciative I’d worn clean jeans and an un-ripped t-shirt to the homestead for the Sunday dinners she made us all attend so we could sit around the table while she fed Bella—and sometimes her damn daddy—the fried chicken my half-vamp woman still craved.

Maw had wrapped her arms around me and tipped her head back to smile up at me. “I don’t suppose you do, son. We’ll take Wide Awake Plantation off the table—there’s always Emmett and Rosie—but I still need to talk to Bella about…”

Having gotten my way, I’d tuned Maw out with a kiss to her cheek, one that would’ve made her blush had any blood coursed through her veins, and ambled off the down the dirt drive in search of a John Deere I could hotwire. Jizz and Bubba had already trailblazed into the bush on the Kubota, and I had mind to racing the tractors while our women made plans we’d have to unravel later.

Now, several days after putting M’Esme off the wedding-at-Wide-Awake trail, I was changing the tires on the Bronco, back at Luxury Hollows.

On all our 4×4’s, Rosie’s El Camino, and M’Esme’s vintage Mercedes we honored Mama Brown with a decal I never failed to brush my fingers across. In Loving Memory of Eunice Brown. June 20, 1951-September 13, 2009.

Bella came out to help, unhelpfully wearing a half shirt showing off the half-moons of her breasts and cut-offs glimpsing off the bottom crescents of her ass when she bent over. Bare foot too, one of my favorite looks on her, unless she was modeling super-sexy, super high heels that made her legs look a mile long . . . while otherwise naked.

The breathing room in my jeans getting sucked up by the size of my cock rigid enough to stab through fabric, I popped the top bottom. Bella’s eyes clung to the curls above the base of my shaft. I slid my thumbs into the waistband, pressing the jeans a little lower on my hips.

Bella lifted her eyes to mine.

I raised an eyebrow and cocked my leg, drawing her gaze back to my erection. “See somethin’ you like?” I asked, making sure I took my time one-handing the t-shirt from my back and over my head.

Her tongue traipsed out to wet her lips and I stepped up to her. The muscles of my bare chest pushed against the straining buds of her nipples.

Bella dragged in a breath then darted a glimpse of those gorgeous brown eyes over my shoulder. “Yeah. I’d like to get the tires done on my truck too before those storm clouds over yonder burst all over us.”

I laughed long and low. “Only one thing you gotta worry about burstin’ all over you, darlin’.”

“That so?”

Damn straight. I was frisky. It didn’t matter I’d made her scream my name from the porch couch with my face between her legs not two hours earlier.

Slinging an arm around Bella’s waist, sliding my hand down to cup her bottom, I whispered against her lips, “Gimme a kiss.”

Bella slammed me against the Bronco, my wrists gripped in her hands. Her body undulated against mine causing a whole lotta heat to head south to my cock. I loved the passionate power of her moves, the wet silken thrust of her tongue fucking in and out of my mouth.  

I loved the bite of her teeth against my bottom lip and the fact she could do more than handle me; she could take me, fuck me, suck me any time she wanted. And she knew it.

Just not right then. Because the Bronco skittered back about five feet and the wheel we’d been monkeyin’ around with popped off and rolled several yards before upending.

We broke apart and laughed, grabbing each other to keep from flailing backward on our asses.

“Back to work?” Bella grinned, arms looped around my neck.

“Back to work.” I swatted her ass for good measure and to cop an extra feel.

We took turns lifting the body of the Bronco and replacing the tires, working up a sweaty sheen under the blazing Indian summer, South Carolina sun.

She had a wrench in her hand and a lug nut in her mouth and my balls in a vice when I asked, “So, we’re elopin’, right?”

Bella spat the metal into her palm. “No.”

“But what about God ’n’ Guns? Louisiana?” I squatted beside her, taking the wrench from her hand. “If we’re gonna have a shotgun weddin’, shouldn’t we do it where ammo’s allowed at the nuptials?”

Bella stood, shaking her hair out. The sun-saturated lengths flew against my shoulders when I rose to my feet in front of her. She took my palms and placed them on the truck door. I was positioned the same way I’d been earlier, her breasts against me, her breath a trail of fire against my throat.

My skin tingled when she exhaled softly, “No.”


“We got three weeks to plan it, baby.”

Only thing I’m plannin’ is how to get inside her pants right the fuck now.

“And we’re only gettin’ married once.” Bella’s fingers scorched inside the front pockets of my jeans, lowering them with a shift-shift until my broad cockhead broke free of denim. “White wedding. The bluff. Bouquets and all that stuff.”

Pulling her top over her tits, I licked from one orb to the other. “Flowers?” My palm skimmed inside her shorts, sending shockwaves down her spine.

“Tons of . . . red . . . hot . . . pokers . . .”

Every word she said was a swivel of her wet cunt against my fingers and a shuttle of her fist from the base of my shaft to the helmet.

Bella’s eyes held mine to the last second when her twisting, gripping, squeezing hand drew the come from my balls and out my cock and all over her wrist. She rippled around my fingers, tightening and releasing as a spiraling orgasm made her fall against me with wild wails and the arch of her hips.

Ropes of my seed decorated her body. Gotta love that.

Bella glanced down over herself. “This isn’t what I have in mind for a white weddin’, Eddie.”

Nevertheless she gathered drops of come from between her boobs and placed it into her mouth. She licked from my fingers and dropped low to suckle my cock and clean my abs from where I’d exploded.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, Bella. You tryin’ to kill me?” I was hard again already.

She rode against the length of my thigh, laughing all the way. “Y’all’d be dead by now if I was.”


Lifting her in my arms, I carried her into the DW. To hell with the trucks, the tires, and Maw digging her talons in over the wedding. I set Bella down, arranged myself beside her in bed, and tucked her against my shoulder.

“One more thing.”

I love her one more things. It’s usually ‘let’s fuck like this, baby’.

“Sex is off-limits until we tie the knot,” she said.

The Fuck?


 ~~Make your mother happy happy happy! And go to church Jack~~

I reckoned The Southern Belle counted as close to God and Church as we’d get. For sure there’d be some babes on their knees, if nothing else.

Three frigging weeks. And it weren’t bad enough Bella had added the no-sex no-way no-how rule to getting hitched. She’d hit me with the ‘don’t even think about jackin’ it either’ clause, too.

In Jasper’s classic Ford truck on the way to the Belle, we idled in the L’il Cricket parking lot while Bubba mooned out the side window. Gobbing brown baccy juice into an empty, Jizz lobbed it out the window on a three-point arc.

A carload of cougars drove past, did a U-ey, and made a return eye-fuck visit.

Course they did.

Bubba hauled up his jeans and jerked open the door. At the same time Fart Boy belched, “Ew, bet that left tracks.”

Emmett’s eyes danced. He’d obviously concealed the Fart Boy pull-tab toy somewhere, probably in his hairy ass-crack. “Just gotta run in and pick up some Goodie’s Powders. Y’all need anything?”

Fuck’s sake. Stuck with the only hypochondriac vampire in existence.

“Newspaper an’ toothpicks.” Jasper drawled.

I slapped the side of the Ford. “Better grab a two-liter of Sunkist for Carl.”

“Contraband hooch?” Jizz questioned, one blond eyebrow rolling up.

“My fuckin’ wedding, I can do what I want.”

Two miles later, three irascible vampires eschewing the valet fucking service at the stripjoint, we bared our teeth, placed some cash, and had us front row seats at the Belle.

Drinks took up the tabletop—whiskey, beer, shots. Perfect.

Bubba shoved a few glasses aside and slammed his hand down on the table. I watched beer spill. Jizz leaned over to suck up some beer foam. Bubba lifted his hand, leaving a pointer finger splatted against a scrunched up piece of paper.

“I’m officiatin’!”

I snaked the paper from beneath his hamfist, narrowin’ my eyes. Jesus Christ. Emmett Dale McCarty Cullen had gotten hisself certified online, to officiate legally. From the Gracious Shepherd Bible College, ‘Fully Accredited, Costs Less, Requires No Gen-Ed Courses’.

If I’d been paying a lick of attention to Bubba’s thoughts, this’d come as no surprise. As it was, I’d learned to tune him and his hillbilly, mind-numbingly boring bullshit from my mind-reading radar years ago.

“You think I need a dog-collar, like them reverends wear?” He hooked a finger into the neck of his shirt.

Folding the verified certificate, I placed it into his shirt pocket. “You are not fuckin’ marryin’ me and Bella.”

“Why the hell not?”

“’Cause I says so.” I was fixing to officiate the ignoramus with my fist on his thick skull.

In response he took pouting to never seen before proportions. Like his bottom lip was swelling from a shellfish allergy. Who the fuck knew with him.

“I’ll ask Bella.” He sulked.

“Y’all do that.” I swallowed three fingers of rotgut whiskey.

I was tied in knots, my balls blue. Possibly some obscene shade of violet at this point. Three weeks, no sex. Fuckin’ A. Hard as a rock because Bella wouldn’t give me any, like she was gonna regrow her hymen or somethin’. But it was marriage, and we were gonna do it right. Do the right thing. An idea I hadn’t even considered before she exploded into my life.

I ignored the babes on stage, staring into my glass. I rubbed my chest. One more night and she’s mine.

Bubba broke into my doldrums, reaching across the table to snatch Jizz’s box of Stim-U-Dents. He shook the contents out into his hand, laughing and rearing back when Jasper took a swipe at him. Then he propped two of the toothpicks under his upper lips over his canines.

“Don’t know about you dudes, but I still feel kinda gypped about the lack of fangs.” His speech came out slurred and lispy.

After looking around the joint, I rolled my eyes back to him. “Man, you can kill with your bare hands without even breakin’ a sweat, fuck like a rockstar, live forever. You really think you got somethin’ to complain about?”

He nodded, pressing the tip of his tongue to one of the wooden points jutting from his mouth.

“Lose em before you scare the natives.” By actin’ like a dipshit.

Jasper had scooped the rest of the toothpicks back into the box, muttering about germs, but he glanced over. “Shoot. I reckon if a pair of necrotic zombies runnin’ around the lowcountry, werewolves howlin’ at–”

“Loup-garu,” I cut in.

Pointing a toothpick at me before popping it between his lips, he said, “Semantics, Eddie boy. Loup-garu roamin’ around, plus whatever the hells Bells is–”

“Liger,” Bubba affirmed.

Jizz crossed his arms over his chest while I fistbumped Buckwheat. “Right, a liger—half human, half vampire—if all those characters ain’t fazed the air-breathers yet, a vampire with a set of false fangs ain’t likely too.”

He had a point, but I still needed to grumble. “The hell are we doin’ here?”

The night before the wedding, I had better things to do, like polish my cock to get it ready for Bella.

“Stag party.” Jizz and Bubba chorused in unison as a skimpy dressed tartlet delivered another round of brewskies and a bevy of new babes took to the stage.

Fuckin’ stag party. Stag. I’d had one of those last night, under duress.

Bella had me a damn short leash and I wasn’t even a dog. Last night I’d been jonesing for a hit of the pure stuff, her blood from the source—from her tits or those perfect ivory thighs…

But she’d had other ideas, saying, “Baby, you know can’t suck without wantin’ to fuck.”

f I didn’t love her so damn much my insides hurt as much as my iron-stiff cock, if we hadn’t been through hell and back along a twisty route of deception, mayhem, and all around evil bullshit care of Arshole Aro and his assbandit flunkies, I’d have seriously considered tying her to the bed, my piano, or the Bronco and fucking her brains out while I sucked the hot, sweet blood from her veins.

Instead, I’d pulled away from her. Every single muscle in my body resisting. My teeth sharp, my mouth watering, my vision narrowed. Another herd of whitetail deer bit the dust last night. And I hadn’t busted my nut, not then, not the day before that . . .

I resumed slouching in my seat, nursing two cold ones, my brew and my bruised balls. At least I could get lit up at my own bachelor party.

Moments later, the crowd–going apeshit with Bubba the biggest baboon of them all–drew my attention to the spectacle on stage. I rubbed my eyes, pulled my hand over my jaw then looked back to confirm what I saw.

I leaned back in my chair, eyes glued to the trio of dancers, hand gripping both cold ones hard enough to break something.  The song blazing out of the sound system was dirty, gritty, filthy, and fucking hot . . . each and every one of those characteristics reflected in the sexual dance moves of the women writhing around each other on stage under the hot glowing lights.

I can do it like a brother, do it like a dude

Grab my crotch, wear my hat low like you

Do it like a brother, do it like a dude

Grab my crotch, wear my hat low like you

Do it like a dude? Jesus fuckin’ Christ. She was not doin’ it like a dude at all. Bella—my Bella—was all slinky, sexual, feline, and straight-up fuckable. On stage. With Rosie and Alice.  

Boom, boom, pour me a beer

No pretty drinks, I’m a guy out here

Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ money like a pimp

My B-I-T-C-H is on my dick like this

Bubba yanked open his wallet, Jasper dug out his money clip, and I sat with my mouth hanging open.

Whistles, catcalls, and men were on their feet. Human men, plebs, easily killed, all of them, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

Dressed in the barest, sheerest bras, g-strings, and spiky heels, the three of them were total wetdream material. Never fuckin’ mind my stash of girly mags that had been ripped through, thumbed through, shredded and were now no better than trailer trash toilet paper at this point . . .

My dick was gonna detonate.

Through the roaring in my ears as venom jetted through my body, I dimly heard Bubba whistling. I watched him throwing wads of cash on stage.

I almost blew my wad in my jeans when Bella ground her hips against Rosie, pulling the other vamp’s long blond ponytail hard. Swear to fuck, I thought I saw a glimpse of the tips of their tongues touching, and it felt like a cattle prod zapped my cock.

Boys, c-come say what you wanna

Boys, y-you need to lick my dollar

Boys, gettin’ hot under the collar

Holla, holla, whoa

The Mighty Mouseketeer and Rosie gyrated down to collect the cash, scooping it into the strings of their thongs. But Bella—fucking Bella—swiveled her ass as she swished to the stripper pole.

Then I stood up.

The flexible little minx raised one leg and winked right at me while she wound her leg above her head around the floor-to-ceiling bar. The bar in my pants jerked in time to the music.

And if that bra—that thing, that little bitty string barely holding in her tits, shit it was no better than a pair of pasties at handling the job—came off, as it about looked to do what with evil gravity making her breasts swell, I was gonna make good on my plans to massacre every single leering motherfucker in the joint. Their randy thoughts ricocheted around my head like pinballs, lighting up violence inside me—cruel and unusual punishment on top of the fact Bella practically had my nutsack in a jar.

Bella righted herself, and her tits played nice, settling back inside the bra instead of falling out onto the floor. I narrowed my eyes when she blew me a kiss. Wrapping both legs and both arms around the pole, she slithered up it, mewing at me. When she reached the top, she arched her back, long wavy hair brushing the dimples just above her ass.

Tits thrust to the air, hips lewdly pumping, she humped the pole up and down and my dick threatened to ram through my Levi’s.

Beside me Jizz was grinning, goddamn wolf whistling. Or who knew, maybe Leah and the pack were in the crowd and I’d get to them too. My backhand to Jasper’s jaw jarred him for a minute while he worked it back into place. Hitting the jackoff had busted my knuckles but they knitted neatly back together in seconds. Too bad his toothpick was DOA.

My Pavlov cock was hard enough to use as a nightstick and I really needed to can it with the cop-talk ‘cause that was putting me off my game. The game being getting Bella off center stage and onto my thighs for a private lapdance, fucking pronto.

I respected her enough to let her do her gig with the girls, but I made a massive male barrier between her, the stage, and the salivating press of gawkers.

The song finally ending, the girls giggled, blowing kisses to their fans who were one fucking come-on from getting their heads sheared off, ligament by tasty ligament. I leaped on stage, swaggering up to my girl, easily ignoring every other fucker in the place so I could focus on the way her eyes widened and her mouth pursed into a pretty gasp.

Her gaze strayed to my cock, a hard roll in my jeans, and meandered up the length of my body as I stopped inches from her.

“You pissed?” she asked.

I pushed my hand into her hair and fisted the damp tendrils. Her gasp was solely sexual. “Who were thinkin’ about fucking when you were dancin’ like that?”

“You.” Her sharp teeth bit into the pillowy bottom lip.

My mouth cruised up her neck before I crushed my lips against hers. I tasted her tongue and dragged mine through the wet warm depths of her mouth, twisting and tearing back.

I cupped her breasts, nipples pointing into my palms. “No one sees these but me.”

“I know.”

With another searing kiss, I grabbed her thighs and pulled her up around my waist, covering as much of her bare skin as I could. I blasted out to the jeering throng, “She’s taken. For every day of her life, for the rest of her life.”

Carrying her away from the glaring lights, I asked, “What the hell are you wearin’?”

“You like it?” She wriggled free, her hands sliding up her curves hardly hidden by the bra and panties.

“Like it a whole lot better when I can get you out of it, in private, Bella.” Each muscle on my body flexed in response to her tease, and menace clotted my throat.

She stepped back, “Not gonna happen tonight.”

“I know.” Running my hands through my hair, I clenched my fingers before I gave in to the urge to manhandle her back to the DW. “You better be at Rosie’s by the time I get home. With the doors locked, the windows barred . . .

We couldn’t sleep in the same house tonight. Fucking tradition.

Her face framed in my hands, I scattered light kisses over the freckles constellating over her nose, her cheeks. The widow’s peak I loved, I murmured against. “And you better bring this outfit on the honeymoon.”

“Tomorrow.” Cheeks flushed, eyes bright, hair loose, Bella was gorgeous. Happy.

Shit. Fingers grazing her face and down her arms, I linked our fingers for a moment. “Tomorrow.”


~~A pure hand needs no glove to cover it~~

And neither does my cock.

Cacky’s Bride Aid arrived at the Bluff at daybreak. Eager bitch. While she and Maw festooned the grounds and prettied up the casket-planters with white and red blooms, I stalked the length of the porch from on high.

A strong hand pulled me inside. The door slammed behind me and I resumed my pacing in Esme and Carl’s bedroom, all three stooges starting at me. Finally Jizz rolled a joint. He passed the doobie to me. I grabbed the roach-clip and took a hit.

“Need the White Rabbit?” Bubba asked.

Exhalin’ O2 through little sips, I plunked onto the settee. “Nah, I’m good.”

Carl inhaled the offshoots, getting high on contact.

“Where are the women?”

“Upstairs.” Jasper dragged on the joint.

“Bella too?” I needed to make sure she’d showed.

“Man, you gotta ask?” Emmett came out of the bathroom, spraying Lysol in his wake.


“Yep.” Carl leaned closer to the reefer smoke. “Got here at 7 am. Your girl’s ready.”

Nerves crackling through my veins, I peered into the mirror. I had on a tux, and the slim black tie felt strange against my throat. The regulation wife beater underneath the crisp white shirt made me feel a little better.

Jizz smashed the spliff into an ashtray. “Lookin’ good, hot stuff.”

Under his breath, Bubba hummed Red Solo Cup while he drew pants up his meaty legs. He’d pressed the black trousers between his mattresses. Trading out his I ain’t sinnin’, I’m grinnin’ t shirt for a black and white tuxedo-t, he bumped my shoulder as we fought for mirror time.

“Why haven’t you popped the question yet?” I elbowed him in the ribs sending him against the wall.

Bubba grinned. “I ain’t no chump.”

Just a chimpanzee in a monkey suit.

Jasper tapped his watch. “It’s time.”

My stomach rollercoasted. They marched me outside, down the steps, to the altar. Maw held a hankie in her hand and the side of my face in the other. “You do her proud, Eddie Cullen.”

Of course. Bubba had gotten his way. He was officiating. He pulled out a set of index cards tucked inside a Barbara Cartland paperback.

On both side of the aisle, our friends and families crowded. The chairs were mismatched, the southern ladies wore hats. Vampires were at ease with the humans and then the organ struck a wedding march.

When Bella turned the corner and slipped under the gazebo, my knees gave out.

Jasper clasped my shoulder. “She’s beautiful, man. You’re a lucky sumbitch.”

 I am. Watching her, I believed it for the first time. My eyes burned against the vision of Bella walking down the aisle toward me. For me.

For the first time I understood what this all meant. I knew I had something in Bella that Jasper wanted, that Emmett needed, that Esme and Carl had found.

My heart walloped in my chest, or maybe it was my stomach diving down. All those inert organs leaped to life when Bella approached. She caught a tear on her fingertip, and I wanted to kiss them all away.

The ivory satin sheath, the voluminous veil, the heels . . . she could have come to me in cut-offs and a tanktop. But I didn’t deny the punch to my gut with the vision she made.

For the first time, I decided fate had done me right. Eternity hadn’t damned me. Never-ending life meant I’d be with Bella forever.

I held out my hand, accepted Sheriff Swan’s firm shake. I nodded solemnly at him as his pornstache twitched as if invested with emotion he struggled to wipe from his face. His standard issue pistol at his hip, his badge prominent on his cut-rate tan colored suit, he threatened, “You know I can still shoot you, sonny boy.”

Welcome to the family.

I didn’t falter. “Yessir. And you know I’ll do everything, every single day, to make your daughter happy.”

Maybe that’s enough.

When Charlie placed Bella’s palm in mine, I held it like a treasure. She kissed her daddy on the cheek and raised her chin, a river of tears falling from her dark eyes.

I swallowed and took a step up to Emmett, Bella beside me. I bent toward her. “I’d be cryin’ too, darlin’, if I could.” My voice came out a little rough, a little shaky.

Her palm slipped up my forearm.

“Ready?” I asked, gathering her hand in mine, kissing her fingertips gently.

I watched as beneath the veil the soft fan of her eyelashes brushed her cheeks. “Yes, Eddie.”

Facing one another, we linked hands. The crowd of vampires, Caleb from Mama’s and a few of his less superstitious Gullah friends, the wolf pack, even Delilah from next door, who’d found a sitter for her brood, and L’isiana and Texas, who managed to curtail their neighbor-wars enough to attend . . .

They all shut their pieholes when Bubba began in a strong and solemn voice, no sign of the jughead in evidence. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the joining of Edward ‘Eddie’ Cullen and Isabella Marie Swan in the most sacred of all unions, marriage . . .”

In keeping with the theme, we’d opted for traditional vows, minus the ‘obey shit’ as Bella put it.

It felt like I’d waited my whole life for her, yet the ceremony passed in a blur of I dos and I wills. All I could focus on was the smile on Bella’s lips, her mouth forming the words that would bind her to me forever. The sound of her voice, low and warm as liquid honey, and sometimes trembling through her vows.

After I committed myself to her and our rings were exchanged, I ran the pad of my thumb over her bottom lip through the veil, feeling her gasp.

We reached for each other at the same time. Her hands finding my shoulders, sliding up my throat, clasping my jaw. I lifted the veil and slowly kissed each salty wet tear before waiting a hairsbreadth from her mouth, reveling in this first moment as man and wife.

Our lips brushed once and twice before sliding together fiercely. I groaned at the moist strokes of her tongue coiling with mine, gripping her hair that fell loose down her back in a bounty of waves. Pulling Bella up in my arms, I swung her around, never once losing the passionate kiss that made me want to lift up her long dress and sink right into her.

When I finally set her down, her lips were swollen, her eyes shone as bright as I’d ever seen them. A final teardrop trailed down the curve of her cheek and when I kissed it away, I slid my lips over to touch her earlobe. “Hi, Mrs. Cullen.”

Her beaming smile of pride pulled an uncontainable grin from me, and I leaned back to let loose a loud holler.

Everyone joined in, rushing the small platform with hugs and claps, loud shouts and more swearing than Maw would’ve usually allowed, but she was too overcome with her own bout of ‘proud momma’ preening to do much about it.

She tugged me down by my ears and kissed me soundly on the cheek while Carl slapped me on the back, a blow that would’ve broken a human male’s scapula, meant merely as congratulations, ’course.

Giving up his preacher-man-moment, Bubba jumped up onto the lectern. Once the showboating buffoon had everyone’s attention, he pulled a move straight from WWE. Going all Hulk Hogan on the tux coat, he ripped it apart at the shoulder seams like that shit was held together with Velcro. Pulling a PBR can from his pocket, he guzzled it in one and did a 100% pure Bubba move, crushing the empty can to his rock-solid forehead before lobbing it into the crowd.

“Let’s do some damage, y’all!” He bellowed.

Brain damage, maybe.

The reception took no time at all to get underway; the guests were as thick as bluebottles on a cow’s ass. The two-story porch on Maw’s house had been decorated in flashing black fairy lights. Didn’t need to be a genius to figure out whose personal touch that had been. Music pumped from the speakers housed under the carport and long tables faced the creek, laden with a full spread of barbecue supplied by Rosie and Mama Brown’s, junkfood galore for Carl, beer, and a candy dish of joints handrolled by Jasper.

It went without saying blood was on tap, warmed to a perfectly drinkable degree.

The centerpiece of the really fucking bizarre banquet was the cake. No less than four tiers, it was piped in black icing . . . with miniature crows made of fondant or some fucking crap on each level, their sharp beaks appearing to peck at the cake layers.

Flushed, warm, and gorgeous, Bella appeared beside me. “Alice ordered the cake.”

“No shit.” And I’d be having words with Little Miss Bonnie-no-Clyde later, after I searched her person for pickpocketed items.

An uproar caught my attention just before I reconsidered putting my fist through the cake first and the mischievous minx’s face second. Spinning around I almost spat my mouthful of PBR out when I saw Seth, Ja-cub, and Sam playing hot potato with Mr. L’isiana. He was quickly turning red in the face, unable to believe a group of overgrown Cajun boys were tossing him around like a bag of boiled peanuts just because they all had the fiery bayou blood racing through them. Shapeshifting shitheads.

“Well,” I murmured to Bella. “They definitely liven up the place.”

The sound of her laugh pinged through my body, lighting up every sexual impulse until I felt like a livewire.

I was getting ready to haul her around the side of the house to see if I could get some relief for my tormented cock—hell, a quick trip down her throat would do me good—when goddamn ‘Speeches!’ was announced.

Snagging two glasses of champagne for Bella—I didn’t want her to go dry—and another beer for me with a blood chaser, I guided her to the head table. When she took her seat, I pushed it in, bending to lick the long line of her neck before biting her gently.



“Speeches?” She gave a small whimper after I nipped down the opposite side of her neck, ending at the top hills of her breasts pushed just-so above the bodice so all it would take was one press of my thumbs to watch her nipples topple out.

“They can give speeches, darlin’, I’m gonna sit here and suck on your peaches.”

“Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, git your face out of Bella’s décolletage and kindly show some fuckin’ respect for this sacred occasion.” Esme’s shrill tone cut right through my happy face-planting moment.

I eased back, acting relaxed. Laying one proprietary arm across Bella’s bare shoulders, I aimed a loose grin at Maw and winked. I chuckled when she looked flustered for a moment, not having been on the receiving end of my charm before.

Of special note, while I sat beside my girl and fiddled with her hair, were Maw’s, Rosie’s, and Chuckles speeches, which they kept brief. Fuckin’ thankfully.

M’Esme held up a goblet in our direction in one hand and clutched Carl’s fingers with the other. “The South will rise again!”

No shit. The Pavlov is already well and truly up.

Rosie stood and gave her congratulations as Bella’s BFF. “I tried to keep you away from that scoundrel, girl, but you just ain’t got the smarts you were born with.”

I looked askance at Bella who was smothering a laugh behind her hand. Laugh now darlin’, you’ll be screamin’ in ecstasy later.

“Howsoever, if you were gonna land a vamp, I’m glad it was Eddie. He’ll fight to the end for you, sex you up, and keep you cool on our hot southern nights!”

Curling against my chest, Bella hid her grin in my neck. With her resting against me, I took the opportunity to caress the warm skin of her back, on fire with the need to get as close to her as possible.

Sheriff Hardass followed Rosie. He started and stopped a few times, which meant Bella sprung a leak in the waterworks again, but I held her through it all. He called out in a gruff voice, “My baby girl. A father hopes for this day and dreads it at the same time. Especially when she’s hookin’ up with a no-good Cainhoy boy.”


“Let me finish. I had my ideas about Eddie here, then I got clued in about y’all Cullens. What I’ve observed made me rethink some things.” His straight and arrow brown gaze zoomed in on me. “I guess Eddie gives you what you need. He might break a few laws—that I’d just as soon not know about–and go about things the wrong way, but I’m not worried when I know you’re with him. That’s all a father wants.”

Daddy!” Bella lifted her glass to him, smiling widely.

Charlie drained his beer, caught another from Bubba, and headed for a chair, meeting Leah on the way. She swayed against him before she found her footing, the Alpha Bitch clearly a little juiced up. She wasn’t on the docket for speeches, but that wasn’t about to stop her.

Here we go.

“Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. Won’t you go to beddie with me? You soooo pretty. And sparkly, I’ve heard about Sparky the sparkly cock!” She hiccupped.

I glared at Bella. Sparky the sparkly cock? I bit out, “I sweat. It ain’t friggin’ glitter-dust on my dick, babe.”

“I never called your cock Sparky, baby, I swear it,” Bella hissed back.

Leah reeled away from the table on her heels and towed herself back by one hand clawing across the surface in front of her. “Sparky, sparkly, s’pretty. You ask ’im ’bout a threesome yet, Belllls?” She slurred.

Okay, that one? I’ll tuck away for jag-off material.

To everyone else I said, “All right! I’m callin’ the dog catchers.”

“Time for gifts!” Maw shouted over me.

As I stood to escort Bella to the swag pile, the gamine gremlin sidled up to me.

“Go on, darlin’, I’ll catch up.” I said to Bella. The half-sized hustler had that dazed and confused look about her. Either that or she was as skunk-drunk as Leah.

She’d replaced her tattered black lace parasol with a new-old tattered black lace hat that sat at an angle on her short, raven black locks. Arms in long gloves, minus the fingers, cinched into a white dress that fell to her knees, she was an animated vision of the fucking cake she’d ordered.

Soon as Bella was outta earshot, she said, “I’ve seen the future,”—not this crap again—“and you’re going to live a long,”—no shit, Miss Cleo—“happy life with Bella.”

With that, she took her broomstick and cackled off to find Jasper. Maybe she was sincere, or maybe she’d had too much beer . . . whatever. I shrugged, dragged both hands through my hair and followed Bella’s trail.

She was inspecting a box.

“Who’s it from?” I asked.

“Card says Caius.”

I glared at the offering. “Chuck it.”

Alice’s broomstick must’ve boomeranged her right back to me. She turned up like a bad penny at my side. “What if it’s the Hope Diamond?” Dollar bill signs all but spun in her irises.

“I don’t need another friggin’ gewgaw, and I don’t need no emblem of hope, not when I’ve got Bella right here.”

I lifted a package wrapped in newspaper, The Times-Picayune, standard top and center. I didn’t rattle it. I dropped it on the ground. Fuckin’ RJ and JR. I hoped to Christ it wasn’t one of their fingers, toes, or—I shuddered—imaging the worst. They’d sent back their RSVP last week, unable to make it to our nuptials cause they were working the zombie thing, landing parts—literally—as extras on a pilot for something called The Walking Dead. Sounded about right.

Bella broke into a prettily wrapped parcel overflowing with ribbons. The box big and unwieldy, I held it open while she ripped the top off. Digging under layers of tissue paper, she carefully gathered the contents in her arms, keeping it off the grass.

“Clear a table.” She ordered.

Five pairs of hands on deck made short work of making a clean space for the gift Bella unfolded on the table. It was a patchwork quilt. Each pane was hand-stitched with . . . two figures in Kama Sutra positions.

Bubba knocked his elbow into my ribs. “In case y’all run out of ideas, seein’ as how y’all are always fuckin’. Except these past few weeks, right, Eddie?” He jeered.

As if I need a reminder.

My hand wandered over the couples screwing in all possible positions. My gaze tightened on the pair and I noticed a few similarities that made me smile. The female looked suspiciously like Bella and the dude definitely had my hair.

“Emmett!” Bella exclaimed, hugging him.

“Emmett.” I gave him a skullrub. The softhearted fool had probably spent all his sleepless nights since our announcement making this. And he wasn’t even half as queer as the EOFer.

Letting him out of the headlock, I sipped on Bella’s lips and rocked against her hips. “Let’s cut a rug.”

The dance floor was packed with bodies, shining with hot lights, and loud with music. I stripped off my jacket, lost the tie, and pulled the suit shirt from my trousers. Soon as the buttons were undone, I shrugged it off my shoulders. In a white wifebeater and my black pants, I pulled Bella to me.

Flashes of light glinted off the wedding band on my finger when my hand cruised up Bella’s side. She stared at my shoulders, my chest, winding her way languorously up to my mouth.

The look in her eyes was a searing kiss to my soul.

“You do wanna dance with me, right?”

Her gaze leapt to my eyes. “Yes.”

The song slowed into a bittersweet tune of love found, lost, and gained. And I could do this all night.

Our turn around the dance floor wouldn’t win no prizes, but it didn’t matter one bit. Bella cuddled against me and I matched the sinuous motions of her hips, dragging her to me, my hands close to her bottom.

“I love you,” she murmured.

My cheek against hers, I felt the drum of her heartbeat. Between my thighs, her leg slid, sending a fresh flash of fuck-now to my groin.

But I shook it down. A kiss, a hard fast fuck . . . neither of those things meant as much as holding her through this first dance of desire.

We stayed out there for a long time, lingering in the feel of each other. The moon spun above, its pale rays hitting her shimmering dress, lighting it with drenched fire.

Eventually, night closing in, the reception got a little rowdy. Rock music blared and we broke apart. Rosie claimed Bella and I claimed a stool.

Our wedding shindig started getting hairy, and not just because of the foolish loup-garu. Folding chairs were broken, and Maw started having a conniption fit. Someone accused Alice of stealing, que cera.

The bonfire blazed out of control, which could be dangerous considering three quarters of us were highly flammable.

I strutted up to Bella and grabbed her hand and we made a break for it.


After playing a round of chicken with the tourists downtown, Bella pretending to disapprove but letting a laugh slip out now and then—especially when I bumrushed Mike Newton then sideswiped his fuckin’ Jeep Liberty—I took us over the bridges onto James Island and kept going. In the Sunday Best truck, ’course.

Driving contentedly, one wrist over the wheel, one arm over Bella so she snuggled against my side, we wound through the live oaks arching over the narrow roads the farther we got into the country. They dripped with Spanish moss and were covered with feathery resurrection ferns, the massive trees shot through with shards of moonlight. Everything black, white, and gray and pristine.

We sped through the gates of the coastal enclave, and I followed the road down a mile or so until the salty smell of the ocean swept in through the open windows of the truck, the Atlantic spreading out before us. I turned into a long drive and stopped in front of a stone and timber house made up mostly of enormous windows reflecting the ocean’s surf back to us.

“Kiawah, Eddie?” Bella breathed when I helped her out of the truck.

I ducked my head. “Yeah.”

“We made love for the first time here, at The Sanctuary.”

Lifting her hand, I kissed along her palm to her wrist where her pulse zinged. “Not somethin’ I’ll ever forget, babe. It was just after you decided it was okay I’m a vampire.”

Her fingers ruffled through my hair as she pulled my face to hers. “You chose to honeymoon on Kiawah because it’s the first place we made love?”

Grabbing a quick kiss, I smiled against her lips. “Yeah.”

I scooped Bella up in my arms and walked toward the house. Up the steps and across the wide porch, I carried my precious cargo. Her arms linked around my neck, her cheek pressed against my shoulder. Crossing the threshold with her in my arms, euphoria flew through me, something I’d never experienced before.

I set her down, crushing her to me, claiming her mouth and dragging across her lips with my tongue.

“Eddie!” She gasped when I broke away. “You can’t afford this.”

I shuffled my feet, glancing over my shoulder at the grand surrounds, the luxurious furnishings, the massive house that faced the sea. “Yeah, I can.”

“I knew you were loaded, but I didn’t think . . . Hang on, then why are we living in a trailer up in Cainhoy?”

“Don’t know, darlin’. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, it’s just who I am.” I frowned.

Suddenly her hands cupped my face. “Yeah, it is.” She pressed up into me, landing a sweet kiss that did nothing to bank the fire inside me. “You’re a good man, Eddie Cullen.” She smoothed my dress shirt down and swept her lips against my throat, humming happily.

“And you’re a good woman, Bella Cullen.” A sense of smug pride made me smirk down at her.

She stepped away from me and I made a fast grab for her, but she quickened her pace across the heart of pine floor. I stood with my fists on my hips, watching her retreat with a laugh, tossing her hair and a challenging smile over her shoulder. “Forget I’m as fast as you now, Eddie?”

“Somethin’ like that,” I mumbled.

Her laughter continued to tinkle. “C’mon, baby.” She held out her hand.

Finally gonna get some.

Un-fuckin’-fortunately, I hadn’t figured on the possibility she’d want a tour of the place while my hard-on was ready to tear outta my pants. I trailed awkwardly after her, my cock making walking difficult, but it was worth it to watch the delight and joy spreading across her face.

Although next time I was gonna rent a one room shack in the boondocks so she’d have nothing to look at but me.

At the top of the house at the end of a hall, after what felt like far too frigging long a trek, we made it to the bedroom.

I opened the door and stepped inside. “C’mere.”

I watched Bella’s heartbeat flutter in the pulse at the base of her neck, a neck I was gonna get my teeth into soon. The room was lit only by moonlight streaming through another long bank of windows, and it was empty of all pretentious bullshit like soft music, rose petals, or flickering candles. I had a ‘no open-flames’ policy. All that mattered was me, Bella, and the bed.

The floor’d work too.

As soon as she slipped into my arms, I found the buttons at the back of her dress. She hadn’t changed before we left the bluff earlier and now I was thrilled. I relished the honor of taking her out of her wedding gown. Slowly. Seductively. Seemed she was thinking along similar lines because Bella worked the jacket from my arms while I fingered each tiny button from its fabric loop down the curve of her back.

The bodice swooped forward, my shirt was peeled from my shoulders. I cupped her breast within the gown, thumbing across her nipple. Every measured touch brought a gradual reveal of skin. Flesh bare for lips and tongues and fingers. The heart-shape of her ass fitting my hands after the last of her lingerie—buttery silky barely there scraps—flittered away to the floor. The tips of her tits drawn out by my tongue and teeth. My chest and abs covered in jolting hot kisses, her fingernails digging into the backs of my thighs, scratching upward to my ass.

Clothing shed, we tangled together on the bed. Sleek kisses and the wet glide of my fingers into her soft pussy made the air sizzle with her moans. Wanting more, needing closer. Pulling herself down my body, Bella pumped me in her hand and cupped my sacs in her palm. I braced on my elbows, not blinking, trying my damnedest not to move, watching every stroke as her gaze focused on the straining flesh she smoothed up and down in her fist.

With a sly grin, she kept me torturously erect, on the verge of release. “Wanna come all over me, don’t you?”

That’s the idea. “And in you, your mouth, your cunt, I want my come all over your body, wanna see your tits covered in it.”

She placed her lips above the swollen head of my cock and dangled her tongue around and around the most sensitive tissue until I jerked in place, grunting and cursing. One quick deep plunge and I was buried down her throat, shouting as I punched the mattress. She came off me just as quickly, sending my body into an overload of arousal.

“On your back,” I growled.

She flipped over and I prowled up her, lapping down deep with her thighs pressed wide apart until she shivered all over. I sucked her belly button and nibbled the plump crests of her tits and moved up to her lips, driving my tongue forcefully inside. I swallowed her scream and drank it down then skimmed to her neck. My teeth pierced her quickly. She came with my fingers curled inside her, her blood flowing inside me. Drinking slowly, reeling from her heady taste, I settled between her legs.

Cleaning her wound, I grunted when her slick labia enfolded my cock. Wild with the taste of her on my tongue, the feel of her on my dick, I held her down and thrust into her. I kept Bella pinned under me, screwing her, making the headboard bounce off the wall with each fierce thrust. The bedding got rucked up under us as I fucked her with all my being until I had to bite her again, clamping into the soft round flesh of her tit. She scratched all down my back, marking me too. A taste of lover’s blood between us.

I gasped away from her, pressing my thumb over the mark on her breast while she looked up with sex-dazed eyes to dare me. “Come on me then.”

Angling my hips for the deepest impact, I leaned in and conjured another climax from her, laughing darkly as her cunt clamped around me in rhythmic pulses. She threw her hands to my thighs, my ass, grabbed onto my hair, trying to keep me on her, in her as I backed away. Cock in my fist, soaked from her desire, I fired off at her pussy and tits, her mouth.

I came all over her body, shivering from head to toe from the most intense orgasm I’d ever experienced.

“Jesus. Are you marking your territory?” She asked, running her fingers through the shiny patterns I’d made on her pale skin.

I lowered over her, bracing on one arm, and twirled the wedding band on her finger. “Already did. This was just for good measure.”

My huge thighs bounding hers, my seed a hot warm mess between us, I watched, mesmerized, as she drew my fingers through the ribbons drizzled over her breast. She brought them to her mouth, sucked my fingers inside, licked them clean.

“You like it?” My voice was pure gravel. My cock already firm and ready, pressing into her hip.

“I want more.” Nimbly hauling me down, Bella guided me inch by aching inch back into her wet heat.

This time we barely moved. Pressed completely together from lips to chests to hips and legs, we rocked in dance of flesh, and desire, and love. Bodies tight, hands linked, we met and moved through long smooth strokes, a wave of motion and emotion. Wrapped around each other, time could’ve slowed, time could’ve stopped. Our orgasms washed over us with gasps and groans and intimate whispers. It felt like we were making love for the first time, for infinity.

We remained locked in that luscious embrace until sweat made us damp and the sharp scent of come filled the air, and Bella’s hair lay tangled and wild on my shoulders and across my chest.

I stayed inside her, even after coming several more times, still hard. She fell asleep draped over me, and I fought not to squeeze her tighter.

There never needed to be more than this. Bella, beside me. Mine and married. Her heart still beating beneath my hand even though I’d turned her. The worry that she’d die, that she’d leave me, that I wasn’t ever gonna be good enough for this sassafras woman ebbed like the tide pulling away from the shore.

My chest filled with pride. With hope. With love. I didn’t have to long for a life outta my reaches anymore.

I curled around Bella, shifting her to her side. My legs against hers, my chest to her back. I slipped a hand between her breasts, listening to the sleepy slough of her soft breaths.

I kissed her neck and knew I’d get up with her in the morning and each morning after that. And she’d give me shit, screw me hard, and probably tax my patience. I looked forward to every single second of eternity for the first time in my long life.

“I love you, darlin’.” I whispered.

~~The End~~


Florida Georgia Line: Cruise Song

Jesse James: Do it Like a Dude

Iron and Wine: Flightless Bird, American Mouth

Remember, I’m on Facebook! Come connect, my page or profile—I’m always hiding out there. And books! In addition to Sugar Daddy, I have a slash dystopian romance series coming August 6th from Grand Central Publishing—In His Command. This isn’t really the end, just a new beginning.

xoxo, Rie



Carolina Crackers: Day V…Tastes Like Chicken?

10 Aug

The bombastic whoomp-whoomp-whoomp of the airboat’s massive fan became a whoosh-whoosh and then a hushin’ hum when I throttled down.

The boat lolled on the capped waves, the sun hurled its rays down at us from a bright blue sky unfettered by clouds.

A fat frog galumped from the banks, hidden in the palm fronds.

“Better than a party barge?”

“Mmmm hmm.”

“Pontoon boat?”

She laid out on the aluminum platform, her bikini damn near negligible and totally friggin’ incitin’. “Don’t you mean poontang boat?”

Bracin’ myself against the raised captain’s chair, I hauled her sinuous back to my chest and brushed Bella’s ear with my breath, “The thought mighta crossed my mind.”

“Ain’t surprised,” she winked, criss-crossin’ her legs.

“Y’all like this better than a yacht?”

“What the hell am I gonna do with a yacht, Eddie? Only need one surface to screw you on.” Her fingers scratched irresistibly up and down the insides of my thighs.

“Or no surface at all.” I pulled down the triangular flags over her tits, runnin’ my thumbs over her nipples. “Remember Kiawah?”

She purred deliciously, “Not likely to forget that, baby.”

She held up her beer between two fingers, tilted it towards me, then let a steady stream of amber liquid gurgle between her lips.


“What’s that?” I asked.

Bella gyrated into me, makin’ me groan against the nape of her neck. She teased, “Well now, that’s your cock, ain’t it?”

I stuttered my dick away from her—and man, that shit took some motherfuckin’ effort—and pointed to a coil of wildflowers by her side. “That.”

“I made a garland for Mama Brown, thought to throw it in the water here, so she’ll know she’ll always be remembered.”

“She’s not ever gonna be forgotten.” I turned Bella’s face to mine, dove into the bright brown glow of her irises. “You know that, right?”

Chewin’ on the corner of her lip, Bella nodded. But her voice was sad and far off, “We shoulda been able to keep her safe.”

When I slipped my hands around her waist and set her right around to me, large teardrops were marring her eyes. “Let’s do it now.”

I jumped to my feet and brought her up with me.

We stood at the edge and held the chain of flowers between us.

We closed our eyes and threw it out. We linked hands, and watched it float for a ways before it disappeared.

“To Miss Cassandra Brown, Queen of the Gullah,” I said.

“Amen to that, and Godspeed to her.”

A coupla hours later, after we’d lazed in the sun, drinkin’ beer and darin’ each other to dive off and tease this or that jeering alligator, I swaggered across the airboat to Bella. “You got somethin’ you wanna eat yet?”

She untied the little loops at her hips and bared her pussy. “I got somethin’ you wanna eat.”

Damn straight.

I placed her against the fan, held her arms down at her sides, slid her thighs wide apart and made straight for her lusty, hot haven.

I ticked at her clit, ran my tongue up and down between her furled lips, opened her with my fingers and…mmmm…slapped her ass hard before I sunk my tongue inside of her.

Pushin’ her thigh outta the way, I brought her heel up to the seat in front of her. And there was a goddamn feast to be had.

Grinnin’, I spanked her again, this time right across her pussy so she yelped and arched and yanked on my hair.

I didn’t need no tellin’ what to do.

I tantalized her with my fingers, spreadin’ her damp spill all over the frilly lips of her slit until she was all good and wet.

I pushed a fingertip inside, slidin’ it in and out.

She frowned, cursed, shouted.

But I only kept at it.

A lick to her clit.

A finger pinchin’ her nipple.

A twist inside her.

Insidiously, I pushed away.

Breathin’ heavy, I watched her sway.

Her hands opened and closed.

Her cunt was so fuckin’ ready.

Her lips parted and her eyes faltered and she breathed, “Eat me.”

I came at her full force, bracing her thighs wide with my palms. My mouth took over and I took her over the edge. I fucked her with my fingers and my tongue plummetin’ inside her. I circled her clit until it swelled so bright she screamed with her hips undulatin’ against my lips.

I made her cum and cum and cum, and I drank it all; licking and sucking. Smoothing, and hushing. Touchin’ her quivering quim with my fingertips, I kissed her fully on her cunt, murmuring, “So good, soooo good, Bella.”

She whimpered, her head turned aside, her back arched, her breasts raised.

“One more time, darlin’.”

Moaning, she curled her thighs over my shoulders and I lapped lazily at her, a slow wet thrill. I pushed my nose to her clit, my tongue onto her cunt, my fingers at her hips haulin’ her onto my face.

Later, when the sun had sparked out and the air had grown heavy as a quilt above us, the humidity magnified and a menagerie of nightbirds crawin’ and nocturnal insects buzzed and crawed, we sat side-by-side.

Me with my gator on the ground, my file-like teeth and mouth takin’ apart its veins and quaffing its blood. Bella with a skewer of pale, grilled lumps…charbroiled alligator.

She’d supped from the vein, drainin’ off the beast’s lifeblood. I’d watched her with hooded eyes as she sucked the violet liquid down her throat.

A bloom of blood had trickled down her chest, stainin’ her tank top.

She’d backhanded her mouth and leered at me.

Now we sat together.



We shared a beer to wash down our meal.

“Tastes like chicken,” Bella jerked her head to the gator carcass.

“Mepkin Abbey chicken?”

“One and the same.” She smiled and scooched closer.

I put my arm over her shoulder and kissed her cheek, her forehead, her widow’s peak. “Gonna miss this, darlin’.”

With a smile, she sighed, “Me too, Eddie.”


Miss Kerry Delaney, y’all are a flirty firecracker; thanks for the pic, darlin’.

Carolina Crackers in Florida: Day IV…Long Snake Moan

9 Aug

Y’all are not gettin’ that snake past my lips.”

“C’mon, darlin’, just a taste? You promised.”

Mufflin’ her giggles, she turned her head to the side when the firm, tubular flesh hit her cheek.

“What’d I tell ya’ about dick slappin’ me, baby?”

I jerked back just enough to nudge her pouty lips with the full, achingly engorged head of my cock.

“All you gotta do is ask me.”

I grumbled, “I did ask you, I even said please.”

Boomin’ claps of thunder rumbled overhead.

There was a wild storm whippin’ around us, makin’ the day look like night.

Low clouds scuttled across the sky, rain gettin’ ready to boil down in hot spits.

Her smile widened, her voice carnal, “Mmmm, that’s right, you did.” Tonguing the wet slit at the tip of my dick, she murmured, “You poor, poor thing.”

My cock leaped, tryin’ to enter her mouth, push past her lush lips, sit stiff and hard against her tongue, thrust further into her throat.

Only thing Bella did was open her lips enough to tuck them right around the ridge, sucking and flickin’, sucking and flickin’.

Poundin’ the ground beside her head, I wound my fists into her hair. The muscles of my stomach were tight as knots and I rocked forward an inch, two, three…

Doubling her hands around my base, she squeezed and moaned and licked and nibbled.

Three, four inches… “Fuckin’ Christ, Bella, just a few more, please.”

She slurped off me.

I ground my teeth.

Her mouth meandered to the weights of my balls, popping them in and out of her mouth until I was groanin’. My cock a full staff rubbin’ all over her gorgeous face.

She gasped around my sacs, her slippery saliva coatin’ my cock and balls. “Just a few more inches, Eddie? You seen the size of this thing?”

I grunted, taking the length in my hand, runnin’ it up and down, curlin’ her fingers with mine so we pumped together. “Too big?”

“Friggin’ python.”

“Not an anaconda?”

She laughed but her face was a needy mask of desire as she pointed her little tongue between our fingers, touchin’ all the risen veins, descending to the base of my shaft to nip and nuzzle. “Well, it certainly ain’t no garden snake.”

Toxin leaked out, fat drops dripping over our hands.

My thighs were clenchin’, my shoulders bunching, my forearms straining. My breath released in rugged rasps.

Partin’ her lips over my head, she took me in again. I dropped my hips over her face, holdin’ onto the back of her neck, mesmerized by the vision of her suckin’ my cock in long wet tight strokes.

My entire body went rigid, my neck taut, my thighs tremblin’. My cock erupted with a mighty rush and my snarling bellow, “Fuckin’ goddamn Jesus, Bella!”

After the first pulses, I fell to my elbows, buckin’ my hips. Her fingers gripped my dick, her mouth pulling out the cum, her tongue swirlin’ and tasting.

A drizzle trailed from the corner of her mouth to the top of her tits.

Tuckin’ her tongue into the rich pool of cum still drippin’ from me, she said, “Mmmm, venomous too.”

My thumb strummed across her cheek, my forehead met hers, my lips took hers in a fearsome kiss. “But not to you.”

Nippin’ beneath my jaw, she hummed, “No, baby. Never to me.”


Mmmm, thanks Miss Kerry Delaney for the snapshot.

Carolina Crackers in Florida: Day III…Need Fresh Blood

8 Aug

“What is it?”

Bella’d jumped up from the sleepin’—more like fuckin’—bag. “I smell something.”

Her nightgown, a slinky confection in pure white, was open to her navel and rucked up between her thighs.

I sniffed my pits. “Ain’t me, had a redneck bath before bed, darlin’.”

She laughed and pushed me down to the messy beddin’ with her slender foot to my chest so I could see all the way up between her legs to the sleek damp folds of her pussy. “Shhhh.”

I nipped her toes, bit the arch of her foot.

Her head whipped aside. She glided to the fireside, lookin’ left and right then straight through the dense dark copse of trees. “It’s big.”

I hefted my cock in my hands. “No fuckin’ kiddin’.”

“Smells musky and wild, savage.”

“I can live with wild and savage.”

She crouched low, balanced on the balls of her feet, steadied against the scant swollen-hot breeze sweepin’ from canal to campside. “A boar.”

I jumped up, makin’ my way to her. My voice was low and husky, “Y’all callin’ me a bore now?”

Her tits hung loose of the silky cloth until only the nubs of her nipples were hidden. And I hated that.

I bundled her hair in my fist, turnin’ her into my deep, moaning kiss. Slippin’ my hand inside the fabric, I caught the bud of her nipple, roughly buffin’ it between my fingers.

“A wild boar, baby.”

She leaped away, archin’ across the clearing and shooting fast into the forest.

The white of her skin and her nightie zigzagged between thick bracken. A leg here, the mound of her boob there, her hair sizzlin’ with the cracklin’ electric heat advancin’ before the night’s complimentary thunderstorm.

I bowled after her. Rushin’ through branches tryin’ to detain me, jumpin’ over roots attemptin’ to trip me.

Capturing the scent of her sex and the smell of the beast she was after, I narrowed my sights on her slender thighs and the sexy rounds of her ass when she lifted the gown to her waist, stridin’ faster.

Divin’ into the air, I rolled over craggy little hillocks and kicked an armored armidiller outta the way.

I grabbed her ankle and brought her down with me; a wild, wonderful, goddamn erotic wrigglin’ body.

Her bold laughter echoed throughout the hollow. Her hands yanked at my jeans, shuckin’ them off my legs. She sat above me, just like she had when she’d triumphed over that goddamn gator. Her tits swung in front of my mouth until she lowered them to my lips. “Y’all don’t want the hog, babe?”

Claspin’ her waist, I hauled her up with my hand. I pulled out my Pavlov and let her get the feel of my full, thick cock. “You don’t want this hog, darlin’?”

I slammed her down onto me, spearin’ her cunt, groanin’ and thrusting up.

Bella stuttered in her honeyed tone, “Ahhh…just thought…FUCK!”

My teeth tugged at her nipples until they were engorged and tight and ringed with wetness. I clenched my cock and lunged again. “You just thought?” I rasped.

“Goddamn it, Eddie-fuck!” Her hair curtained over my thighs, my thighs jumped and jerked with the incineratin’ heat of her pussy enveloping me. My toes curled and my feet stamped, and her feet dug into the ground. My biceps strained and I felt the pearl of her kisses—moist and needy—all down my throat to my chest.

Her eyes were dilated and dark and heady. Her mouth warm and sucking. Her voice reedy, “Just thought…yeah, yeah, YEAH!…if you got the pig, I might-could drink it.”

Motherfuckin’ A!

I thumped the earth…heels, hands, and head hittin’ the soil. I pounded up into her. Hips, cock, her ass in my hands.

When I came, I blasted inside her and then outside, hittin’ her tummy, her tits and all the way up to her gaspin’ lips.

She wiped a smear from her cheek, sucked it from her fingertip.

Jesus Fuckin’ Goddamn Christ.

Layin’ back, Bella laced her fingers through the cream coverin’ her body, trailin’ it to her pussy. “Damn baby, I didn’t know the thought of me feedin’ made you so hot.”

I hunched down, trackin’ the boar, watchin’ Bella. “Yeah you did.” Before I darted off into the blackness, I pulled her to me for a languorous kiss. “Just so we’re clear. I kill it, you bleed it.”

Her eyebrows rose and her mouth curled into a mischievous smile. “Sure, why not. We’re on vacation after all, baby.”


Raisin’ a PBR to Miss Kerry Delaney for the snapshot. Thanks, darlin’.

Carolina Crackers in Florida: Day II…Ally-Gator Alley

7 Aug

Yeah, I got us in a case or two of PBR last night. We made camp, made a small fire…made us some love.

With the daybreak, it was hotter’n Hades. Even the sky was sweatin’ wet tears.
Them gators were gettin’ ready for breakfast, and so was I.

Out in the salty canal, I watched them: flappin’ tails, and snappin’ jaws. I sneered…the fuckers hadn’t known a real fight with a predator…yet.

They was just askin’ for it, and I was gonna give ‘em what-for. But before I could dive in and take the biggest down, Bella slithered into the water. Naked, her tits were buoyant and so goddamn sexy. Her strong arms and tapered back pulled her out to the current, lithe legs kickin’.

Her hair streamed behind her like a frickin’ mermaid’s, tangles of mahogany turned dark as my heart when soaked in the salty river.

Hunkerin’ down, I watched.

The gators circled her, thinkin’ her simple prey.

They gnashed their maws and rolled their eyes back.

My hands fisted and my knees spread on the silty soil of the bank. Damn right my cock got hard seein’ her in action.

She went under and they followed. One, two, three, four of them. Big scaly beasts. The water became a turbulent muddy depth filled with splashin’.

Turnin’ up the bottom of the riverbed, one gator broke the surface. Another popped up. A third surged out onto the bank. Them big bastards regarded me with blank dead eyes.

She was still under, until a geyser blew out from the middle of the canal; Bella clamped onto the biggest bull gator and he took her into a death roll.

Standin’, I waded in. I waited and watched. My woman could handle herself. I kicked a snouty nosed motherfucker in the face and watched him sink.

Rollin’ and rollin’ and goin’ back under and seconds passed.

My jaw clenched. I waited. Bella could take of herself.

A crash of foamy water sent waves to the shoreline. A marshy jet propulsed up. Bella. Damn right, there she was. Sleek and wet, and victorious. Her teeth tearin’ through the burly reptilian’s neck, into its tough scales, into its gushin’ blood. The thing roared and rolled some more but she rode that fucker like it was a buckin’ bronco. She rode that gator until it bleated on the shore, at my feet.

I toed off my boots and marched in. I hauled her off and kissed the brine from her lips.

I cupped her tits and teased her nipples and sent my fingers up the insides of her thighs.

“Y’all gonna drink it?”

“No, baby, I got him for you.”

“G’on, have a taste from your first alligator.”

“I’ll taste him from your lips.”

I dropped on top of him, snagged his thick vein and groaned with the dark, rich taste.

My legs opened, Bella unbuttoned my jeans.

She kneeled between my thighs and rubbed her face against my cock.

“I do want some meat, though,” her voice was a husky, liltin’ song.

My hips jerked to her.

I moaned into the blood, I grunted when she licked my head and nipped all down the risen veins of my dick.

Pushin’ off the gator, I slid her back.

“Y’all want this meat, darlin’?” I tantalized her, my cock on top of her lips.

Grabbin’ my ass, Bella pulled me down, pulled my erection into her mouth.

We thrashed.

Warm sludgy mud smeared around us.

We crashed through the underbrush, we flattened the tall green reeds.

We almost brought down a stand of ancient mangrove trees, settlin’ against their knobbly roots.

A flock a’ tropical birds were sent from their roostin’ when Bella belted out, “EDDIE CULLEN!”

Dirty and devious as hell, we fucked.

Yeah, I got some meat in her today. And it weren’t from an alligator.


Thanks to Miss Kerry Delaney for the snapshots…y’all are a sweet one ;).

Carolina Crackers in Florida: Day I…I never met a girl like you before

7 Aug

Livin’ large in the Glades.

We picked up the airboat, courtesy of Curtis’s cousin Willis, on account of old Curtis kickin’ the bucket a coupla months ago. Got us some hog traps too, them fuckers are everywhere.

Damn if I weren’t made to stop at the Cracker Barrel on the ride down; I even had to put my shirt on before frequentin’ the place. What can I say? Bella likes the friggin’ decoration. The stuffed doe glared at me all the while Bella was tuckin’ into her stinkin’ greens. But she made up for it after, in the parking lot, out back, backseat of The Bronco.

She curled her fingers around my belt loops and ripped my jeans open. I yanked her tank top above her fuckin’ sexy tits. She fell inside, I followed, with my cock out. The heels of her sandals struck the seats, I sunk my hands to her curvaceous ass and hauled her to me.

Bella laughed, “Got somethin’ you wanna show me, babe?”

Hell, I didn’t care if Mom and Pops Cracker Fuckin’ Barrel themselves came outta the place. I layered my mouth to hers, dragged my tongue salaciously around hers. I cupped her tits and bit her bright swollen nipples then rubbed them with the heels of my palms until she arched up and screamed, “Oh, yeah! Oh…God, Eddie.”

That’s right. God…Eddie.

Our fingers collided; gettin’ off her panties, gettin’ her off.

Her sex held hidden secret warmth I palmed and fingered and fucked slowly, abrading the hot wet swell of her clit.

Her calves jumped.

I put my hands around them.

Her mouth parted.

I kissed her, gruntin’ and groaning.

The sweet swell of her hips thrust. And damn if I didn’t take that invitation to heart.

Spearing her open, layin’ her back.

Sliding into her.

Draggin’ away.

Lunging, biting, sucking, fucking…

Caught in Bella’s goddamn beautiful enticement.


Thanks to Miss Kerry Delaney for the snapshots; the talented, sexy woman’s been all up and down and all over the place ;).

Chapter 32: The New South

15 Jul

I walked out of the double wide, almost lettin’ the screen door slam, but then I remembered Bella splayed out on my bed, just a sheet coverin’ her naked body, sleepin’ soundly.

Well, she would be dead to the world after what we’d gotten up to.

Jizz had the scuffed heels of his mud-crusted cowboy boots propped on the porch railin’. I cuffed his Stetson off and jumped over his legs, landin’ on the other side of Bubba.

“Watcha whittlin’?” I reached for a cold one, my own safely enclosed in the crotch of my jeans. For the time bein’ anyway.

Bubba grinned wordlessly. Shee-it, knock a few teeth outta that mouth and he’d fit right in with the yokels. He was holdin’ up his latest Kama Sutra specimen for my perusal. Kneelin’ between his woman’s thighs, the male had his hands cupped over her tits with his fingers pluckin’ her nipples up hard and tight.

I took a swig, finishin’ my beer in one long draw. “What’s it called?”

Bubba turned the joined figures over in his hands, all proud of himself. “Victory.”

“Feels good.” I nodded.

“Y’already tried it?”

“What? No.… well probably, me and Bella been at it for days. But I meant Victory – winnin’ and shit.”

Junior decided to get jizzosophical. “The price of victory is high, but so are the rewards.”

Bubba asked, “That that Shakespeare dude again?”

“Nah, from Bama’s Crimson Tide, that is.”

“Sounds ’bout right, crimson tide,” I commented.

Bubba pulled out his keys to punch a hole in his beer can so’s he could shotgun it. When he’d finished, he backhanded his mouth and mumbled solemnly, “Sure was a shame about Mama Brown. Don’t know if Rose is gonna get over it. She’s takin’ it real bad.”

“Least she’ll be kept busy managin’ the barbeque joint,” Jizz said.

“Damn right,” I added. “Mama did a good thing by her, and Caleb… leavin’ them the place.”

We had us a moment of silence for big ol’ Mama.

Always the eavesdroppin’ empath, Junior leaned around Bubba’s hulking form. “What was she thinkin’, that moment before she died? She was lookin’ right at you.”

Slumpin’ against the back of the couch, I muttered, “She said we was gonna be just fine. She even gave that deep, lusty belly laugh of hers, you know?” I peered at Bubba and Jizz. “She weren’t sad. She said her mama and her daddy was waitin’ for her. And she prayed, ‘Fagibe we fa de bad ting we da do. ‘Cause we da fagibe dem people wa do bad ta we.'”

“And?” Jizz wrangled a toothpick from his back pocket.

I shook my head and shut my eyes. “She told me we need to be watchin’ the black wolf and the nighttime woman.”

Bubba spread his knees to reach under the couch and pull out a cardboard box filled with his tools. “Yeah, that Didyme bitch? What the fuck’s her deal, anyways?”

Rubbin’ my chest, I tried to ignore the gnawing feelin’ there. “I ‘spect we’re gonna find out.”

“I don’t plan on thinkin’ about that right now,” Bubba spat out over the railin’, effortlessly bulls-eyein’ the tin can strung from one of the southern pines.

I fist bumped him. “Me neither. Had enough of that Volturi shit to last me all my lifetimes.”

Tunin’ in the black and white RCA, I skimmed through a variety of talk shows all revolvin’ around the same theme with only the most minute differences: He’s my daddy, He’s my baby-daddy, I never knew my daddy, Here’s how to get a sugar daddy in ten easy steps. All the same fuckin’ vacant verbal upchuckin’ in case we happened to think for one second and get a bad case of cerebral overload. Word was, even Oprah was throwin’ in the towel. Not that I watched her self-help shit either, but man, the times they were a’changin’.

What I wouldn’t give for a rip-roaring, Indian summer political scandal to heat up the airwaves. No one’d come close to trumpin’ Big Dawg Clinton and Monica Screwinsky in years, and that was a cryin’ shame. Guv’nor Sanford of our own fair South Cackalakee had tried his best, but even his fake hike up the Appalachians to land miraculously face first in the Amazonian rainforest-referrin’ to his babe’s bush, ‘course-of some Buenos Ares adulteress paled in comparison to El Presidenté shootin’ his six gun off with an intern in the Oval Orifice.

“Fuck, brother, that one should go down in the annals,” Jizz pushed Bubba out of the way to give me a congratulatory skull-rub.


“You just said all that shit out loud, braw,” Bubba belched his sentence out in one long burp.

“Yeah, well, annals, anal-tomato, tomahto; just be keepin’ all that crap away from me. I know your girl ain’t got the proper equipment to hit all the right spots, but we might-could get Maw to order her a strap-on. Lawd knows M’Esme’s a preferred shopper at” I covered my cock with my hands, because that tool was For Use by Bella Only.

Already the owner of cocksleeves and other cuntraptions, Bubba brought the topic back around to Bella. “Where’s your woman at?”

“Snoozin’.” I could say that now, instead of ‘sleeping’. I’d set my Timex for two hours; damn straight I was gonna wake her up. I hadn’t had near enough of her.

Although, she had a right to be tired. Savin’ me had taken some out of her. Her heart is her weakness, her blood is your strength. Take her, Son. That’s what Carl had said when Bella had stripped open her artery and poured her warm blood into my parched mouth. She had my venom in her, and I had her blood. We were each other’s saviors, if’n I had to get all metaphysical about it.

Bubba’d probably lay it out like this—with a handy, whittled visual aid—Bella and me were Yin and Yang. Two parts of a whole capable of regeneratin’ the other.

Yeah, makin’ me right again had taken it out of her, and I’d been puttin’ a lot back in. Often.

“Wore her out, huh?” As Bubba stretched his arms back, I smacked him in the gut for bein’ impolite about Bella.

Truth was though, I didn’t mind remembering.

Breakfast a few hours earlier had brought some goddamn glad tidings.

Bracing my palms against the table, I’d rocked my hips forward. “C’mon, darlin’. You know you like my Shaft’s Spread.”

Breakin’ into that smile I’d missed, Bella had scooted forward, her warm breath susurrating against the soft placket of my jeans. “I asked for the Shedd’s Spread, baby, for my-“

“Muffin. I know,” I’d interrupted. My damn erection was about to erupt right in front of her face!

She’d arched her toes on the lino, balancing the chair onto its hind legs. “This another of your Country Cock moments?”

“All’s I’m sayin’ is, I got your breakfast of champions right here.” I’d lewdly grabbed my crotch. Passing my fingers over her thighs, I’d parted the short skirt of her robe and-fuck me—she’d been all warm and nude underneath.

Smirkin’ up at me, Bella had the frickin’ audacity to say, “I’m just not sure it’s gonna fill me up.”

Smart woman, she’d quickly put the table between us.

My growl had been a low rumble, a challenge. “Oh, I’m pretty sure satisfaction’s one hundred percent guaran-fuckin’-teed.”

Then I’d pounced. She mighta been newborn fast, but I was a vampire with a mission: to get good and goddamn laid… she’d had no chance of outrunnin’ me.

I’d skimmed around her ass and lifted her up high enough her boobs were full in my face, the robe’s tie draping down my chest. Slippin’ my tongue beneath the thin cotton, I’d circled one nipple. Hungry for more, I’d pushed her tits together and sucked at both of them. Bringin’ her up higher, I stopped for an instant. My mouth at her wet, pretty slit, her hands tangled in my hair, her hips swirlin’ in front of my face. “Damn, I’m starvin’, Bella.”

I dove in, driving tongue first with furious lust. Licking the outer frilled edges of her plump lips, curlin’ into the wet, hot middle where her sex split, sliding up to the firm nub of her clit. I’d sucked that pearl in between my teeth until she’d screamed. Her warm cream was all over my face, and fuck yes, I lapped it all up.

The jam went flyin’.

Her knees were around my neck, then around my hips. Her heels shoved into my ass and propelled me forward. She’d scattered all the cereal boxes to the floor in a mess of fuckin’ granola and Wheaties and other humanoid crap.

I’d sat. She’d followed.

She shed that cotton robe and put her heels to rest on the arms of the chair, on either side of me. Openin’ herself to me. The tight shell of her pussy lifted every time I touched my cock down.

“You gonna fuck me now?” Her hips had twisted.

My cheeks had hollowed. My voice was gritty. “Yeah. Right now.”

I rammed her until my balls slapped her ass and her neck rolled back with a throaty, “YES! Just like… that.”

The pulsatin’ waves of her orgasm threw her velvety cunt around me, holdin’ me in a fuckin’ wondrous vice.

“Fucking JESUS!” she’d shouted.

Just,” I’d eased out, sundered slowly back in, “Eddie, darlin’.”

A heatwave hurtled up from my nuts and all through my cock. I mighta felt bad about blowin’ my wad within five thrusts, but I’d be ready again in about ten minutes, so I didn’t really give a fuck.

My stomach went tight and I… I… I grabbed Bella’s shoulders, jerkin’ inside of her, basting her with the cold froth of my cum until my seed and her river of release smathered down our thighs. I shunted forward one last time, a long groan rollin’ like my hips into the womanly bowl of her body, “Goddamn, Bella.”

“You blaspheming me now?”

“Hell, woman, I cain’t even… what?” Shoot, I was done-for.

She’d laughed. Kissed my chest right where she resided inside of me.

“This kitchen…”

“I know, it’s bitchin’, right?” The fuckin’ place was tore up.

“We gotta clean this mess,” she’d yawned, “before M’Esme shows up.”

“Leave it to me.” I’d swatted her ass for an extra grope. “Go’on, git to bed.”

Her fingers had skimmed down my arms, her lips slipped from the corner of my mouth to my throat, “You’re such a good man, Eddie.”

I’d dropped my head, “Only for you, Bella.”

Our fingertips had held until the last moment.

I’d given her ten minutes to fall asleep, then I’d gone into my room. I’d kissed her sunfresh cheek, her orchard lips. I’d covered her up. Managed to prevent Bubba burstin’ in to tell her about his latest romance novel finds. Lately he’d been all about the Mills and Boon. Mills and Poon, I liked to call it. Apparently so did a lot of other narrow-minded twats out there. Every day, Bubba was in a rare rantin’ mood, emailin’ my account with so-called pseudo-scientific research ’bout how women readin’ cock-fiction was the latest cause of unplanned pregnancies, STDs and busted-up marriages.


Hell, if a man couldn’t keep his woman happy—like I could, for fuckin’ instance—he had a lot more to blame than some Fabio-faced romance novels.

“I bought Bella some of this here poo-pourri.” Bubba disrupted my reverie, huntin’ around his toolbox again.

“The fuck?” I asked. I was all dazed and happily confused. I knew I had a foolish grin on my mouth. But did I give a fuck?


Bella was back with me.

Bubba produced the so-called poo-pourri; a fat brown-glass bottle of smelly potion that read ‘Spritz the bowl before you go, and no one else will ever know!’

I glared at him. “The hell kinda welcome home present is that?”

He spritzed his poo-pourri in my face. “What? Shit’s like a sunburnt dick. You can’t beat it, dude.”

Grabbin’ the bottle, I squirted it at him before jumpin’ off the porch and heaving it straight over the roof of the trailer. The fucker glinted in the sun, becomin’ so tiny before it vanished from sight it was nothin’ but a speck against the horizon. I called over to the peanut gallery, “I ain’t discussin’ Bella’s business with y’all.”

Jizz hooted, “Aw, ain’t that cute. They’re still in the honeymoon period.”

“More like horneymoon, bro. We ain’t tied the knot.”

I checked my watch—thirty minutes until Bella Time—and shared a joint with Jizz. I did my best to ignore Bubba’s bleating about the waste of a good air freshener.

When my cell bleeped with an incoming message, I flicked it open with one hand, squintin’ at the screen through a thick haze hashish smoke.


Bubba sat titterin’ to himself while Jizz peered over my shoulder to read it.

I quickly tapped out a little warnin’ to the true fuckhead of the crew, “U R DEAD MEAT.”

Jizz chuckled, “Statin’ the obvious there, ain’tcha?”

Hardly givin’ Bubba a chance to check the message I sent, I pile-drived him down to the floor, slammin’ his head through the planks so a rainshower of raspy splinters hailed around us.

After crushing his skull, I crushed his cell with a mere squeeze of my fist, then sent it with a mighty swing to go the way of his poofy-smellin’ poo-pourri.

“That was harsh, braw,” he whined.

I almost felt bad. Thinkin’ it was the least I could do after destroying his phone, I bent over to give him a hand up… next thing I knew Bubba flung me over the porch railin’ and into the dusty craters of our lawn. We were wrestling it out from one end of the yard to the other, Jizz refereeing from his seat on the porch, when an ear-splittin’ whistle brought us up short.

“Fuck,” I muttered.

“Maw,” Bubba mumbled.

Before we could scramble to our feet, she was on top of us and dealin’ out more auricular abuse, haulin’ us up by our ears. “Boys. I’d have thought you’d gotten your fill of fightin’.”

The Hamburglar grimaced by her side.


“Don’t wanna hear it, from either one of you.” Her sayin’ that about audiological abilities was kinda ironic or somethin’, considering my ears were still ringing from her shrill whistle.

“Yes Ma’am,” we said in unison.

“We got a party tonight, boys, and y’all will not be greetin’ your guests like this.” Her eyes raked disgustedly over our dirt-splattered, ripped clothes.

“No, Ma’am.” I scratched my jaw, Bubba took off his cap and lowered his head.

“And you smell like a French whore, Bubba. I suggest you clean yourself up.”

Having rode in on her own broom,Betty Black Arts frowned as she looked us over from top to toe, until she spied Jizz up on the porch. She broke out into a smile and a run, her hobo bag bulgin’ with purloined party favors, her feet leavin’ the earth as she spun up into his waiting arms.

Dutifully, me and Bubba followed Maw to the trailer, silently shovin’ each other as hard as we could.

‘Course, when she saw the state of the floor where Bubba had caved it in, Maw pitched a new fit, flingin’ her genteel swear words left and right. “You little so-and-so’s! You got some darned fixin’ up to do on this porch, again.” She continued grousing, “Anyone would think you boys were brought up in a barn…”

Right then my watch went off. I gave Maw a big hug and she looked at me suspiciously even though I could tell she was trying not to smile. I grinned at Junior and Bubba. “Yeah, you boys just straighten yourselves out.” I even nodded solicitously at the Twat O’ Nine Tales.

I made for the door and almost took it off its hinges.

Maw asked, “Where’s the fire, Eddie?”

The Shifty Swami was tongue-locked with Jizzper, but she still managed to explain, “Bella Time.”

I was already halfway down the hall when I hard Maw, “In that case, we better clear out. Give the lovebirds some privacy.”


Hell, I was goddamn cock of the walk.


Bella was just rolling onto her back when I got to the bedroom. Her smile was warm and lazy. “Mmmm, hey baby.”

Closing the door, I leaned against it, just takin’ in the sight of her in my bed. Tousled and sexy and motherfuckin’ mine. “Hi darlin’.”

Figuring that was enough of the pleasantries, I ambled over, slipped my hand up her ankle to her calf, and whipped the sheet right off her.

“Eddie! It’s cold!”

I prowled up her body, lovin’ the way she arched against me, all hot and soft and languid, her bare tits the best friggin’ pillows ever invented. “Don’t you worry ’bout that none. I’m gonna warm you right up.”

Fingering through my hair, scratchin’ her nails down my back, Bella kissed me teasingly. Soft and sweet one moment, deep and wet and dirty the next.

I leaned up to cup her tits, lookin’ into her eyes while I lowered my mouth to one luscious, round hill. Circlin’ her creamy flesh with my tongue, I sucked on the heavy underside of one orb then the other before making a slow trail up to a peaked nipple.

A husky moan curled out of her lips. Her eyes closed; all the better to feel me sucking, lickin’, pinching.

Once I’d traveled to her other breast, leavin’ a nice wet trail in her cleavage that I slipped my fingers down, I thought it might be a good time for a tit fuck.

Bella’s hips were circling sensually against my cock. I reached between us to undo my fly for a little breathin’ room. Her hands stopped mine. Draggin’ my teeth along her bottom lip I asked, “What? You wanna do the honors?”

Her laugh was shaky, breathless. She drew both our hands up her body and away from my aching dick. “You ready for the Q & A session now?”

Tilting my head, I urgently pressed our lips together in a passionate collision of tongues. I mumbled, “Fuck yeah. Long as that stands for quim and ass.”

She scrambled out from under me. “We should talk about what happened.”

Fucking now? My cock was about the size of a baseball bat. Hell, I was surprised it hadn’t just gone ahead and torn through my jeans already.

I smoothed my palms up the insides of her thighs, partin’ her legs, gettin’ ready to fill my face with her pussy. “Talkin’s for people who got nothin’ better to do.” I dipped a finger from her belly button to her bright, engorged clit. “And we got somethin’ way better to do.”

Her hips rushed toward my dancin’ fingertip, but her tone was defiant. “So, you don’t want to know what happened in Italy? I know you been worryin’ about Demetri.”

Fucking Demetri. Bane of my existence. After Yogi-Alice, Caius, Marcus, Cacky, Dasher, et.-fuckin’-cetera. My head snapped up. “He fuckin’ touch you? ‘Cause I’ll relieve him of his hands, if that’s the case.”

Rearrangin’ the sheet over herself, Bella pulled me up to face her. “No, ‘course not. You know I’d never let anyone else touch me, baby. Nothin’ happened with Demetri… he was a perfect gentleman.”

I sagged back onto the bed, hookin’ my forearms over my face. “Gentleman, right.”

“Gentleman with a general overuse of illicit drugs, then. But yeah. He took me to Volterra. He never laid a hand on me. He made sure no one else did either. D was-“

My voice came out sharp, “D?”

“Yeah, D. We just talked a lot.” I could feel her movin’ to kneel beside me, her hands caressin’ up and down my arms, but I still kept my face blocked. “I was lonely without you, and he was the only friend I had.”

“Y’all BFFs now? Braid his hair, too?” I sat up, but kept my eyes averted.

She was havin’ none of it. She damn made me look at her, her hands on my face, her eyes earnest. “I missed you so much, Eddie. If I could have been with you, I-” Like wet diamonds, tears escaped her eyes. I brushed them away tenderly. Fuck, I hated when she cried. “Demetri wasn’t a replacement for you. Don’t you know it by now?” She gave a shake of her head. “There is no replacing you, Eddie.”

I wanted to believe her, but man, sometimes I thought this was all too good to be true. Frustrated—not the least, sexually—irritated, I cursed, “Fuck. FUCK! It should’ve been me makin’ sure you were all right, not frickin’ Demetri.”


“No, damn it! Why the hell did you leave me, Bella? You have any idea how fucked up I was?” I pushed myself to the edge of the mattress. “What the frig was so all-fire important you had to go to Volterra?”

You were, you are, you thick man.”

I blustered a bit.

“You ready to hear it all now?”

I shrugged.

“You wanna get more comfortable first?” She watched me warily, but with the slightest teasin’ smile at the corner of her lips.

I grumpily replied, “No.”

“Maybe lose the t-shirt? Unbutton your jeans? Usually that’s the first thing you do when you see me.” She flirted shamelessly until she got a rise outta me.

I looked over at her, my eyes dark. “I start undressin’ now and I ain’t stoppin’ until I got you all laid out under me, writhing and moanin’ and beggin’ for my cock.”

The intensity of my stare heated her face and the telltale sex flush rose up her chest. She whispered, “Yeah, you better keep your clothes on.”

Givin’ her a half smile, I went to stand beside the tiny window, waiting for what she had to say.

Pullin’ her rich hair over her shoulders, Bella began. “Eleazar was sent by Caius to see if it was all true, to make sure you had fallen in love with a human woman named Bella Swan.”

I couldn’t help the way my hand lifted to my chest, to the heart she’d convinced me I had. Neither could I stop my disparagin’ growl, “Fuckin’ Skeezy. Hate that cunt.”

“Chelsea had to… well, she was supposed to convince me that the only way to save y’all was to let you change me. According to the ‘Swan-Cullen-Volturi’ prophecy—that thing Alice kept talking about—the Volturi knew a woman who was only half a vampire would succeed the king. Only Chelsea didn’t let me in on the fact that none of this was really decided. No one told me I was just a needle in a haystack and they were all waitin’ to see if I would become the way I am now. Part human, part vampire.” She nodded down at herself.

“Fuckin’ unique, Bella, that’s what you are,” I reached over to glide a finger down her cheek.

“But that Whoreface Chelsea, she’s another one I wouldn’t mind messin’ up,” I spat, beginnin’ to pace around the room.

Bella hugged her knees and watched me. “Demetri-“

I slammed the lid of the upright piano shut with a deafenin’ boom. Bella sprung at me, held onto me, wrapped herself around me so I could feel her heart beatin’ away against me. Fuck, she was strong. I closed my arms around her, liftin’ her up my body until our hips were flush. Damn, I was gettin’ turned on. For all of about three minutes my Pavlov had been under a restrainin’ order, now it was all I could do to contain my lust to just be inside her… right… fucking… then.

Her voice was low and quiet and close to my ear, thrillin’ me with each exhale even while her words made my jaw clench. “He gave me the drug to knock you out. He assured me you wouldn’t be hurt, Eddie. That was,” her face turned into my neck, and I knew the slickness of her tears on my skin again, “it was horrible. Seein’ you unconscious, knowing I’d done that to you.” She hiccupped a few times. Her hands twisted into my shirt. “Demetri escorted me to Italy. I went there for you… I’m sorry. It was the only choice.”

I brought her legs up around my waist and sat down on the bed with her in my lap. “I really wish you hadn’t had to do that. What the fuck? Am I some pathetic loser who needs protectin’?”

“No, ‘course not, Eddie.” She pushed my chin up and cocked her head to the side. “You’re a fine, strong man with a gorgeous heart who takes care of his people no matter the cost. But that don’t mean you can win a war on your own, and I’d have done anything to stack the odds in your favor.”

She was so beautiful and fierce in that moment it fuckin’ made me want her all the more.

I leaned in to kiss her, but only got her fingertips instead of her lips. “I’m not done, baby.”

I tried not to grin at her forthrightness.

“Caius, with his hands in all the pies, got quite the feather in his cap when he presented me to Aro. And Aro was easy enough to fool, his own arrogance blinded him, and my mind thwarted him.”

“Friggin’ Queerus, more like his hands in all the boys’ flies and a gross hard-on in his grosgrain jock. “

She smacked my shoulder, stiflin’ a giggle. “Anyway, Aro figured if he had me, he could get you; I was the bait and trap. He thought you’d either agree willingly or he’d snag you through sheer force. Only problem was, he wanted to wait for you to come to Italy. And we couldn’t have that; the coup could never go off there, not with all his acolytes.”

I insulted, “Yeah, all them light-in-the-loafers acolytes, wouldn’t want to pit me against his court of cocksuckers, would we?”

“It had to be here, baby. Get Aro away from his stronghold, defeat him, and then Caius could return triumphantly and set up his own shop…no one could dispute it! There’d be no revolt. Caius knew you’d have numbers—Eddie, I was never so happy to see two zombies in my life. JR/RJ? That was awesome! And Leah and the loup garou? Even better, because Caius had learned about them from Eleazar, but Aro didn’t have a clue. Gettin’ the vultures here, addin’ Caius’ crew to ours… we could win, baby.”

I couldn’t dispute the logistics, but that didn’t mean I had to be happy about it.

“It was my job to convince him to bring the battle to you.”

Oh, and I was even less happy about that. “Hope you didn’t convince Aro the way you sway me. Believe me; I know just how persuasive you can be.”

“Eddie, no! If you wanna know, I told him there was no freakin’ way you’d leave South Carolina. Hard motherfucker, first and foremost. You wouldn’t come for me, because I’d left you.”

I got down on the floor beside her then, my hands encirclin’ her waist and caressing up to her ribs, my thumbs brushin’ lightly under the globes of her tits. I looked at her, my eyes true and turbulent. “You got one thing right there, Bella. But I would have gone for you.”

“I know, baby.” She bent down to coast her lips over my jaw. “I know.”

“So what about this royalty shit?”

She snorted. “We both know I ain’t cut out to be a queen.”

We shared a laugh, each of us thinkin’ of Caius, the royal rump ranger.

But I shook my head. “Beg to differ. Just fuckin’ look at you. Gorgeous, strong, smart, fuckin’ regal…” I kissed the sensitive skin down her arm to her wrist, raised my eyes to hers.

“Ahhh, who knows? That legend could just be a big load of bullshit anyways. But if I can help change the regime, guarantee safety for vampires and shapeshifters… Aro did some bad shit.” She slipped down beside me, snugglin’ into my arms. “He committed some atrocious acts, not the least to you.”

“Yeah, he did. The motherfucker’s dead now though, so…” I stood up and lifted her quickly, settlin’ her in my arms.

Kickin’ open the door, I carried her out the back and down a trail that was dusky in the faint sun glow filterin’ through pines and palms and rustlin’ brush.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and giggled, “Where you takin’ me?”

“It’s a surprise.” I busied myself with hoppin’ over the dense knuckles of roots, duckin’ beneath limbs whose leaves were feathery soft slaps against our arms and faces.

The dapplin’ light through the forest’s canopy made her smilin’ face so goddamn beautiful.

I bent low to kiss her slowly, just our lips, just a touch of our tongues turnin’ together.

A good fifty yards into the woods, I set her down.

She turned around and backed into me, my arms loopin’ around her waist, my chin on her shoulder. “What’s this?” she asked, a little bit of wonder in her voice.

“Made a lake for ya.”

She spluttered, “You just… decided to make a lake.”

“Yeah, thought you’d like it.”

Her fingertips to her mouth couldn’t contain her laughs as she took in the clear pool of water in front of her. It was so still out here, the surface shimmered like a pane of glass, not a ripple of scorchin’ wind touched the intimate glen I’d carved out.

I briefly touched her shoulders and the scintillatin’ line of her back before tuggin’ off my shirt. Walkin’ in front of her, I toed off my boots and socks, peeled down my jeans and stood with my hands at my sides.

When she saw me, totally naked, completely hard and strainin’ for her, her breath whooshed out with a sultry, “Jesus Christ, Eddie.”

“Again, just Eddie.” I winked at her.

She swayed to me, the sheet she still wore went out behind her like a bright white gown, her eyes the deepest brown, her lips parted and invitin’.

On her knees, she took me into her mouth. No warnin’, no teasin’, just the deep satin heat of her tongue and lips, the damp verge of her throat, and her moans, my groans. My head fell back and my hips dipped, my cock slid in and out as she tucked her tongue all along the length of me, then down to my balls.

Oh fuck, Bella.

I wanted a blow job. I really fuckin’ wanted a blow job. But I wanted to be inside of Bella more. In the water, all slippery and soft and warm and… inside her.

Groanin’, I pulled out of her mouth until just a strand of cum and saliva attached us. I fuckin’ groaned again when she used one finger to sweep up the wet thread and smear it all around my throbbing dick until it twitched like a wild beast in her hand.

Grabbin’ her hands, I pulled her up. Into the water, the muddy-sandy bottom formed over our feet.

“I’m getting all wet!” Bella gasped.

“Gonna get a lot wetter.”

Trapped in the sheet, she quickly became drenched. The cotton clung to every round curve and luscious line of her temptin’ body. I cocked my head and watched the cool water lappin’ up from her legs to her hips to her tits. Fuck, her nipples.

I pulled the sheet away, slowly unwrappin’ her until it floated on the surface before sinkin’ down in waves to settle on the bottom.

Wet, sinuous, strong and needing.

I had to be in her.

I had to be in Bella.

Her legs around my waist, her pussy right there, right on top of me. I took a deep breath but that didn’t help me calm the fuck down. I used one hand to stroke her, open her. She gasped, fastenin’ her legs tighter, and guided the swollen head of my cock into her.

She sighed and stopped. Her hot channel just graspin’ my tip, sendin’ shudders up and down my body. I lunged up with a shout, “Oh YEAH!” to her scream muffled against my shoulder, her tongue whipping out to trace the thick bands of muscle.

My forearms clenched, my hips thrust, my cock flew in and out of her.

She rocked back and her hair dangled in the water, her face a sexual picture of pleasure. Every time I entered her, her toes pressed into my ass, and she whimpered, “Ah-ah-ah!”

We were entirely wet, top to bottom, inside her and out. Slippery. Wicked. Wanton.

She was rollin’ her hips so the pressure of my pelvis and my hair rubbed against her hot little clit. I angled closer and ground slowly over her until I could feel the fiery grip of her cunt pulsing and pushin’ and kneadin’ my cock.

Arms around my neck, hands grippin’ my shoulders, legs slappin’ against my thighs, mouth to my throat, my ears, my lips, Bella quivered, chanted, “Please, please, please more.

I was rougher then, because more and fucking more would never be enough with her.

Just a few more… oh fuck fuck FUCK! I held her on top of me, the water up to my hips. I pounded once more, bringin’ her down on me hard, her fluttering grip swallowing the jets and jets and streams of cum that blew out of me and into her. Fucking into her.

And later, in my bed, we just watched each other. Then it was slow. Just, yeah, bein’ together again. On my knees over her, touchin’ each other everywhere. I pulled her up into my lap and made love to her until a fuckin’ gorgeous sheen of sweet made her all glisteny and her breathy moans filled my head with the most goddamn delicate sex sounds.

Her arms around me, her tits against me, her hips rockin’ with mine, the slide of her soft legs against the rasp of mine. And at the end, my hands on her bottom and our eyes sluggish with sensuality, we held on tight, cumming with the quietest groans and ‘I love you so much.’

After layin’ next to each other for awhile with our legs tangled and the beddin’ in a shambles around us, Bella propped up on my chest with a sly smile. “I feel like gettin’ some barbeque.”

“Didn’t you get enough of smellin’ that shit at Mepkin Abbey?”

“That wasn’t barbeque, that was vampire-on-a-spit. Besides, Big Daddy’s is ‘home of the best racks in town’.”

I cupped her tits, “Don’t think so, you got the best rack.”


“All’s they got is scrawny wings, and I repeat, your hooters are far superior.”

“What about Bob’s then? ‘No one beats Bob’s meat’.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“What? It’s the slogan for the restaurant!”

I lifted my other eyebrow, and my dick stood up straighter, too.

“Fine.” She licked her lips and whispered breathily, “Can’t beat Eddie’s meat.”

“Better. Yeah, I’m thinkin’ that’s an awesome name for an all-you-can-eat.” I knocked her elbows out from under her so she sprawled on top of me, her tits tumblin’ onto my chest.

Huffing her hair out of her eyes, she looked at me. “So long as I’m the only one to get a mouthful of you.”

All relaxed, I folded my arms behind my head. “Like a little south in your mouth, do ya?”

Her eyes widened, “Why, Eddie. Did you just say little?” She wiggled against my growing boner.

“Maybe we could just hunt,” I suggested. Because I was horny again, and that shit was hot.

“No chance.”

“C’mon, you kill it, I’ll cook it.” I inveigled.

“Uh, I had your cupcakes, remember?”

I pulled her hand to my balls. “You sure did, and you weren’t complanin’ about them at the time… matter of fact, you couldn’t get enough of ’em, I seem to-“

Squeezing up the length of my shaft, Bella effectively shut me up but for a moan, “Ah, fuck… I seem to recall.”


Well, I might go out and buy that reeking barbeque shit for her—she was my gal, you know?—didn’t mean I had to stick around and watch her eat it.

I was squattin’ down next to The Bronco, changin’ out the tires that had gone bald what with all the drivin’ I’d been doin’ around EBF. Hot as sin outside, I’d left my t-shirt hangin’ off the porch railing like a flag. I heard the crunch of her sandals on the gravel behind me. If I closed my eyes and concentrated, I could picture those heels perfectly… the gold ones with ribbons that wrapped around her ankles.

I didn’t turn around, but I hummed low in my throat.

I felt her hand run down my back, sweepin’ from one side to the other over the muscles bunching as I continued to work. Her fingertips snuck into my low waistband, gave a little yank. I wiped my sweatless brow with the back of my arm, my cock punching inside my jeans. A growl grumblin’ from my chest.

“You say somethin’, baby?” She asked. The swish of her skirt brushed down my back as she crouched behind me.

I shook my head.

Her hands skimmed over my shoulders all the way to my wrists that had stilled on the lugnuts, on account of my own nuts becoming heavy with the need to fuck. “You need a hand?”

Turning my head finally, I captured her lips, jerked her closer. “That a trick question?”

She shook her head.

“You talkin’ about my truck or my cock?” I nipped on her neck until I reached the delicious hollow of her collar bone.

“Depends what you need a hand with,” she sighed.

“Now that even a question at all, is it?”

I gave her a hand instead, helpin’ her up. Leaning against the truck I took in her dress. Yes, fuck. The Yellow Dress. I flipped up her skirt and watched it glide back down over her thighs. “You know I like this thing.” I’d had it dry cleaned for her when she was in Italy… fuckin’ Clinton coulda learned a thing or two from me.

She twirled for me until I caught her around the waist and spun her into me. “I wore it for you.”

I nodded, smilin’. I ran my fingers through her loose hair, watchin’ the sun filter amidst the silky strands.

“I was thinkin’, Eddie, bout a name for my taxidermy shop.”


“How about ‘Skinnin’ N Grinnin’: Makin’ memories last a lifetime’?”

I laughed. “Yeah, I like it. Just add ‘Sinnin’ to it, be perfect for you.”

We were holding hands and talkin’, stealing kisses and laughin’ when Bella looked down the drive. “Party’s starting.”

All along the road and all the way down the drive, a calvalcade was comin’. Dust smoked like wildfires under the giant tires of pick-ups. Wolfmobiles I and II were playin’ chicken, dangerously ramming into each other, makin’ dents, and goddamn if those fool wolves weren’t just hangin’ on at the back of W-II, holdin’ onto the chains and leashes and nothin’ else.

The dusk’s humid haze made everythin’ and everyone some sort of mystical mirage that multiplied as the cars and trucks pulled up and parked. The crickets’ annoying chatter was defeated by shouts and so many Hell-Yes rebel hollers.

Hell, even the neighbors showed; Miss Delia with her passel of kids, Penske-Texas—no longer the same ornery pissant since L’isiana moved out-and fuck if M’Esme hadn’t invited the McClellanville Cousins!

Carl and Maw came with their car loaded down. Maw had platters of who-the-hell-knew-what, and the wolfpack descended upon her. Carl shouted, “Someone order blood?” before throwing a boat cooler packed full of sanguine goodness at Bubba, who caught it with no problem at all. Unfuckin’-fortunately, he was surrounded by a bunch of unsuspectin’ humans which was a big ol’ whoops. He shifted the cooler in his arms, pretending it was heavy, and explained, “Uh, just Bloody Mary’s, y’all.”

When I threw my hands up in exasperation, he hastily amended, “But it’s real strong folks, y’all best stickin’ to the hooch over thataway.”

Jizz and Alice sauntered over from next door; she with her tattered parasol, him with his easygoin’ smile and bowlegged gait. Her hand was tucked into his elbow as he squired her from one group to the next.

The El Camino turned down the lane. Bubba got to Rose just as she was backin’ up beside his bright blue monster truck. Opening the door, he let her out. Theirs was a quiet greetin’. Bubba kissed her cheek and asked, “You doin’ okay?”

Hillbilly Black headed over with loose-lipped Leah, and I knew I needed to skedaddle right outta there. Fuck, I was already afire over Bella and The Yellow Dress, I didn’t need no one else rufflin’ my feathers. “Gonna go put on a clean shirt, darlin’,” I made my excuses to Bella.

I’d just changed and come out into the livin’ room to find the Mustachio’d Mensch waitin’ on me. Shoulda figured I hadn’t seen the last of him, seein’ as he was Bella’s dad, but I hoped he didn’t have plans to take any more pot shots at me this time.

“Aw shit,” I cursed. “I mean, evenin’, Sir.” Sir Sheriff of the Shitbrown Eyes.

“Eddie, I’ll let that one slide this time.” Huh? Just who the hell could hear my thoughts round here. I was supposed to be the mindreader!

He held out his hand.

I gave it wide berth.

He didn’t lower it.

I met his palm.

He gripped me real tight. I gripped harder, almost to the point of hearin’ his bones pop, but still Poppa Po-Po Chief of the Podunk didn’t give. His eyes were bulgin’ though, and that made me happy.

Finally, I relented.

We both swiped our palms on our thighs.

We both stopped.

“So,” I said. ‘Cause that was a real icebreaker.

He cleared his throat. Cleared it again. Said some words that made it seem he was hockin’ up a big loogie, “You done good, Son.”

I almost reeled backwards, like that time Bella shot me. “Say again?”

He clapped me on the shoulder, and I could tell he wanted to try to hurt me, and that he also wanted to tell me somethin’. “You took care of my little girl.”

His eyes shifted aside, but not before I saw the skein of wetness filling them. “Yup. Man of your word, Eddie.”

“Uh, thanks Sheriff Swan.” I decided to take off my baseball cap then, nervously running my fingers through my hair, tryin’ to make myself seem acceptable to the father of the woman I loved.

He ducked his head and started to leave, but I stopped him. “While you’re here, I got somethin’ I wanted to ask you.”


I hoped he didn’t mean that literally…

When we went back outside, the hootenanny was in full, furious swing. It was a damned revelry! Bottles were clankin’ to shouts of, ‘To Mama! To Mama!

People were dancing. Fires were blazin’, though not too close to the vampires. Spliffs were smokin’, though not too near the ‘adults’, even though I saw M’Esme and Carl tiptoe off to the outbuildin’ to bake one up, their heads bent together, their arms linked around each other.

And that looked like a good idea, gettin’ off alone for a little while.

Weaving through the partiers, I found Bella talkin’ with Jacob. I braided our fingers together and lead her away. “Sneak out back with me. Got somethin’ to show you.”

She placed her beer on a stump we passed along the way. “You already done showed me that five times today. You really did miss me, didn’t ya?.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” I replied, haulin’ her as close to me as she could get.

“Oh, really? I think I know all of it. The long and thick beauty of it.

I laughed nervously, tempting her deeper into the woods. “Not talkin’ about my cock, Bella.”

Once I got her well away from the trailer, I felt even more anxious and fuck, even… bashful. I was glad I’d left my cap back in the double wide so I didn’t have to take it off again…one less thing to worry about.

Damn. I met her eyes and pulled my hand from hers. This wasn’t how I’d imagined my life. Not ever. Just that first friggin’ fateful day I’d seen her waitressing at Mama Brown’s… that’s all it had taken.

As I got down on one knee, I folded my fingers on top of my bent thigh. I watched understanding dawn in the expression of her face as her lips tilted into the smile I loved, and the smallest tears rained like clear rivulets down her cheeks.

“Please don’t cry, Bella.”

She gulped and nodded and kept smilin’ and kept cryin’.

The stars’ light studded off her skin, making her glow.

This might not have been how I imagined my life, but I wouldn’t have changed one damn thing about it.

“You know I love you.”

She reached over, her fingers slight and shaky against my face. “I do.”

I presented a ring to her. It was just a simple affair, one diamond, not too big. It sat in the palm of my hand, like my heart and my world and every fuckin’ thing that was good in my life sat in the palm of her hand. My voice was low but she heard me clearly when I asked, “Bella Swan, will you marry me?”

She was laughing and crying and down in front of me, her thumb tracing my mouth, tracing my smile, “Yes, of course. Yes, Eddie Cullen, I’d love nothin’ better. Yes!

I barely had time to slip the ring onto her finger before she was in my arms. Our kiss was the same as ever—filled with desire and shockingly hot and sexy—and it was completely fuckin’ new. Long and wonderful and intense and… lovin’…

Far away, we could still see the fog lights from the 4 x 4s turned on like makeshift party lanterns. We could hear the faint call of the hubbub, a keg cracked, a flock of laughter, a convergence of voices.

That was all background noise.

There was nothin’ else.

Just me and Bella.

And these words:


You best believe it.”

~The Fuckin’ End~


A lot of fuckin’ notes from Miss Rie ;). Hang in there, ladies…she’s gotta run outta breath at some point, bein’ a frail human being and all:

To the two most important women in Eddie’s life (apart from Bella), all my love and respect goes out to Vanessarae and Viola Cornuta who took a fuck-lot of time on every chapter and never put up with any of Eddie’s guff (or mine). They didn’t just help with grammar; they aided me in hammering out the plot, came up with tons of content notes and advice/additions, and generally held my hand while givin’ me a smack to the back of the head. 3.

Thanks to those wonderfully talented women who have blown the roof off the trailer with their artwork and videos! Not even kidding: there are close to 200 DC banners and 13 vids! That’s insane! Y’all can catch ’em all here on the blog. So, giant kisses first to MsEm and Lindz (who did a lot of work for the blog art), to Amanda DcCullen, Bell Jacobsen, Kerry Delaney, DDG, Cracky, Indie, RMCC, Meg Uhbot, Krazichick, Bobby D., CullenGirl, Kimmi, Gasaway, TwifanUK, ROBZSINGER…and many more (I’m sorry if I’ve forgotten anyone, you know I fuckin’ love you!). Also, thanks to a very close friend who has helped me with my writing, my blogs, and simply been there to lend an ear or tell me dirty stuff to make me laugh, you know who you are.

Gotta say how much I respect and admire the writers who took on Rebelward Without a Cause outtakes: Vanessarae, RowanMoon, Frol223, Gasaway Alley, Viola Cornuta, Jaspersbrand, and winterstale. Amongst their stories, they gave incredible life to the other Dead Confederate characters and furthered the plot! And, they’re totally awesome writers in their own right. Love you guys ;).

**Long Live Rebelward**

Thanks, darlin’s, and make sure to subscribe…if’n you wanna see what kind of no-good I might-could get up to next ;).